The Fantasy is gone

At the end of the last Fantasy Basketball year I was pretty bummed. I got really upset about a comment by one of the other guys in the league and responded poorly. Then this new guy ran his mouth for the rest of the year while I sat passively buy not wanting to do anything dumb again. This whole league is made up of guys that I have known for 10 years or more except for this one clown. I didn't want to play any more even though we have been doing this for 15 years with pretty much the same core of guys. The off season went and I watched the national team play well for the first time in years and as we approached the start of the season I was feeling better then I did at the end of the season but not that much better. Since I was so terrible last year I had the best chance of getting one of the first picks and so I talked myself into playing any way. No sooner does everyone get signed up then Mr. New Guy starts running his mouth again and I immediately regret signing up. I have no idea how I am going to go the whole year putting up with this no talent ass clown and his comments like we grew up together. We didn't grow up together, you don't even know me. Then I find out that even though I had the worst team I don't get the first pick, or even one of the top three. I was pissed, I hung up on my brother when he told me. That's the thing about all of this, it isn't some passing thing. I love this Fantasy Basketball league as is testament by all the post I have made about it. It's changed though, or I have, either way it is no longer something I look forward too but it is still something I have passion for. Those are not sane bedfellows it would seem. I can't quit now but I don't think I will be as involved as I have been and that makes me really sad. I kinda want to cry right now and yes I know that is silly. But Carole King said it best: Something inside has died and I can't hide and I just can't fake it.

Consuming an empty mind

I have a hour and a half commute to and from work each morning that gives me a lot of time to think. I have been able to fill some of that time with a Book on tape and a number of podcasts but yesterday I was left with a dead iPod and no book. Left to my own mind I was think of how to compare stats in an upcoming match-up I had with my friend Adam in our Fantasy Basketball league. (Here is about the place 98% of the reader tune out I know but for the other 3 people I will continue) I wanted to see if I could project the stats that we would get based on the averages from last year plus my own little adjustment. Taking into account lineup changes, injuries, playing time and all that. I was thinking about this and going over it in my head the entire way home and talked at length about it with Kate when I arrived. She nodded and smiled, pretending she cared but I couldn't stop thinking about it. I had a hard time falling asleep and woke up with the scenarios still on my mind. This morning when I came into work I got started plotting out my projections during training classes at work. Since we were covering accounting stuff it looked like I was furiously taking notes and balancing ledgers when in fact I was trying to work on a deprecation curve for Quentin Richardson's stats now the Zach Randolph has joined the fold. After working on it for 4 hours this morning I have what I think is a pretty good projection for this week and a load off of my mind for at least the next 4 days.