Temporary Insanity

Tonight was a hard night, a really hard night. I think we knew that there would be nights like this but it doesn't make it any easier. Jake is not feeling well and might be in the first stages of the bug Finn and I had, or he might just be pooping a lot for no reason. He has been unhappy tonight, unhappy eating, unhappy being held, unhappy in his crib. Henry has not been going down either and has been crying pretty loud in his baby cage. Finn is doing well but hungry for a bit of attention as we pinball back and forth between the screaming babies. Jake and Finn we are used to but Henry doesn't cry much so when he gets worked up like this it is a bit demoralizing. He has got some teeth coming in and that has to hurt like hell and I understand his crying, and I understand Jake and his wanting to not poop anymore and Finn and his need to get some attention too. I understand all of it but it is still hard. Right now Jake is screaming in his room and Henry is screaming on the other side of the house in his room. Finn is in the middle going to sleep like a champ. Kate had to get away and go to the beach for a bit because it was too much. After a long week tonight was just too much. We have no idea when Scott will ever come home, if he is working, or out for a run, or out to a movie while we manage the screaming and it becomes too much. I feel isolated tonight, like I am on an island in the middle of the ocean and I can't get off it. It's not always like this, I don't want you to think this is so hard all the time, it is tonight. Tonight it is hard, really hard. When Kate needs to get away she feel guilty for leaving me with the boys and so does not really get to de-stress at all. She just trades her overwhelming sense of responsibility in for overwhelming guilt for not being strong enough to endure. I realize that this is coming off way too intense and it is not a life or death thing. If you have kids I think you can relate, it's not that bad over all. but it is too hard right now. I feel guilty even writing this because I know that Mandy is going to read it and feel bad, and I don't want you to feel bad Mandy. It helps to write it out, to get it out of the head and on to the page and as I'm writing there is slience in the house and the screaming has stopped. The boys are asleep and it is getting better. I am feeling better. Can anyone else relate to this feeling of temporary insanity?

A glimpse into Kate's Day

Merry Marriage Day

On Sunday afternoon Kate, Finn, and I got to be a part of Lisa and Eric Bentson's wedding. Kate was the most beautiful bridesmaid of the bunch though a head cold and stuffy, humid church almost got the best of her. The ceremony was held in a quaint church on Culver lake followed by a reception in the Poconos at the Skytop Lodge. It was a very fancy shindig from beginning to end and really a lot of fun to be part of, the only problem was that it directly preceded a 12 hour drive back home. We tackled the first 4 hours that Sunday night and stayed in a cheap hotel just West of the midway point of PA on I-80. Kate and I were both too tired to care about the crappy hotel and Finn slept in his port-cage so for him it didn't matter. The next day of driving was great until we were just coming to the Ohio-Indiana border. That was the time that Finn decided he no longer wanted to be in his chair and instead wanted to scream a high pitched tune. We couldn't get home soon enough.

He can stand, even when he's half naked

This morning Finn had destroyed his crib and sleeper with an epic pooh the night before and so a diaper change was preceeded by a bit of a bath, hence the half naked baby. Also it's hot here in the Square and that's how we roll!

He's a bit of a Screamer

Finn has started this screaming phase and he is not letting it go. When he wants something he is not getting he screeches at high pitch in short piercing bursts until you give him what he wants. When we know what it is we can ignore him and not give in so we can try to teach him that we do not respond to this frequency and I think I am better at this than Kate is only because I face it more then she does. It is when we have no idea what he is trying to communicate that it gets really tough to handle. For some reason the scream for the unknown reason makes me go crazy and want to ring his little neck. Why is that? It's not a different sound. It is just as piercing and peace shattering but one has no effect on me, and the other sends me into a Bruce Banner-Hulk metamorphosis. I try and smile at Finn and ask him what he wants and give him some options that I think it might be, but all he does is point and scream. He could be pointing at the wall, or beyond the wall to outside, or to high chair meaning he's hungry or to any number of things that I';m sure make perfect sense to him. We have friends that assure us this phase will end and I know it will too, but in the mean time I need a translation book that translates point-scream to English, I would settle for Spanish even.