beauty in the midst of uncertainty

Every day is Sunday, that's the way Carly put it the other day while Beautiful and I were on the couch reading, the boys napping, Jesse at the dining room table on the computer. It was 2 in the afternoon and we were all home, seemingly without a care in the world. Looks are deceiving though. Both Beautiful and I were trying to take a break from the worry by getting lost in a good book. I think I was more successful then she was. After long periods of no response from resumes followed by the occasional 'thanks but no thanks letter', Beautiful got an interview. We were both excited knowing how winning she is but it turns out the company that scheduled the interview is just a pyramid scheme in the form of Insurance sales. Jesse had been to an interview/recruitment seminar the other week and warned her away. What was some hope in the midst of the crushing silence turned out to be mirage. Beautiful was discouraged, really discouraged for a bit. I told her she isn't unemployed she's just under-employed and for some reason that helped. She has two jobs now and is staying pretty busy. Our bank account seems to be a loaves and fishes miracle where a little has gone a long way. We are mostly in good spirits and only occasionally get pulled under by the worry. It is great being with the boys and getting to take the train to the zoo in the middle of the afternoon but there is something to be said for a bit of security and insurance. So after 2 months of unemployment for me and underemployment for Beautiful we are still hopeful and positive most of the time. We are enjoying the time together and taking advantage of the journey like Linsey advised. We have seen and spent time with lots of friends and family that we would not have to chance to if we had a full time job and for that we are thankful. Really for all of it I am thankful, this is not too much to handle. It is hard to be sure but I am thankful for the hard stuff and the beauty in the midst of uncertainty.

Jobs abound

Well I finished my first week of work in over a year. Last Friday morning I got an offer from a software company in Beaverton to start work on Monday. It is a pretty great company with a strong product and the real beauty of the situation is the benefits. That I get them is no big deal but that they start Nov. 1 is huge. Most companies have a 3 to 6 month period before benefits start, at least they do at the pay-grade I operate at, but this one starts much sooner. That allowed us to set up an appointment with a Dr. and get a much needed ultra sound scheduled, in the end we were looked after better then we could have thought to pray for. It seems that is often the way God works in our life. He knows a bit more then we do and just wants a little participation on our end. Anyway I have been commuting for the last week, up at 4:45 AM and out the door at 5:20 AM only to be back home at about 5:30 PM. I have a 7-4 schedule right now that will change once training is finished. I will then have the 8-5 shift that will hopefully be aided by closer living and ample public transportation. We are looking for apartments in an area that is one train and one short bus trip away from work. I am looking forward to that time though I am not burnt out where I am at yet.

Kate is doing well readjusting to being at home with Finn and without me. What seemed like a long vacation is now transforming back into life with all the regular joys and trials. Kate has started a job of her own today in Portland. She is working part time at Anthroplogie for sanity and friendship. She is much too social to have only one person to talk to and the company is one that she has loved from afar and wants to see if it holds up when she peeks behind the veil.

Finn has had some interaction with other kids his age and has been found a solid sharer. He plays well with others and is adorable to more then just his relatives. Him and I went to church while Kate worked this morning and he was the only kid in his Wobbler class. There were 5 volunteers in the class and they went on and on about what a great, beautiful, funny, adorable, emotive kid he was. He smiled at me with a conspiratorial as they all told me how great he was. He is a charmer for sure.

Some bad news and some other news

I got an email yesterday from a company that I had three interviews with that told me they were going in another direction. I thought that I had the job and was really disappointed when I found out I didn't. I'm kinda down after that but I kept at the resumes and contacts to find some more opportunities. I am not sure where the job is going to come from but I really wish it would happen soon.

We finally got our car back from the shop after another two broken bolts and cracked pulley. We went in Tuesday to get it and waited around for two hours while the mechanics tried to finish up. The broke the pulley at 8 PM and the 12 year old yelled out a string of swears that would make a sailor blush. They got it figured out and we picked the car up late Wednesday night. Not having a car for the last couple of days and not getting a job I was hopeful about have left me a little less hopeful but today we went into Portland and my son fell asleep in the car with his fist balled up and his little feet crossed and I didn't feel so bad anymore.

Catching up

I am sorry for the gapes in posting here it is tough not having my computer up and running at all times. I have more messages in my Google reader then I know what to do with and my fantasy baseball team has gone the way of the Dodgers in this end of the season flurry. Kate and Finn are now here and doing well. Finn has slept in 4 different places in the last couple of weeks and he is adapting quite well. He sleeps through the night and seems happy and well adjusted. He takes a lot of step but doesn't walk and he makes a lot of noise but doesn't talk. He is thriving but in ways that aren't measured in the questions over coffee at the local cafe. Kate is doing well with the pregnancy and feeling kicks and movement in her ever growing belly. For the last couple of days we have had some visitors from Santa Barbara that are doing a fact finding vacation in the Northwest to see if this could be a place for them someday. I think it could but I also think they are miles away from a decision so I won't be making dinner plans with them anytime soon. Finn has had a couple chances to play with his cousins and he seems to love it. They are bigger then him and like to wrestle but he joins in and smacks the face of whoever is on the ground. Finn is a mercenary really with no strong allegiances to any one side. It has been beautiful here with warm sunny days and cool crisp fall nights. The rumbling of future rains are getting louder on the 5 o'clock news so I think we will be properly introduced to the typical Northwest weather soon enough.

As for the job searching it is moving along. I have resumes out to every corner of the greater Portland Metro area and have had a couple of interviews and thanks, but no thanks letters. I recently had a second interview with a company that would be great and it sounds like it is down to me and one other person. I have also hooked up with a recruiter that has helped me refine my resume and has recently forwarded on a great job opportunity with a small software company that sounds great. There are positive vibes a plenty but no offers yet, I have turned down 3 interviews because the money wasn't right as well. I am upbeat and positive and full of hope and promise. My Aunt Dee Dee called yesterday just because Kate and I were on her heart and prayed with me over the phone and it really helped fortify my faith. Well that is what is news worthy lately and I will get more updates up here soon, thanks for your thoughts and prayers for Kate and I, and thanks for keeping up with us.

Jobs and the longing

The job search is going, though I am not sure how it is going. I mean until you have a job it really isn't going that well is it? There seems to be some interest in my silly list of accomplishments but not enough for an interview or job offer. I have started to hear from companies in Portland instead of Indy, Waco, and Phoenix so that is plus. My spirits are still high because I know that this is a process that will take some time. I'm trying not to think about my wife at her appointment, 18 weeks along and all is well, wondering where and when we will find a Dr. here. Trying not to worry about where we will live and if Finn will be OK until we get insurance again. That stuff is out of my control for right now so it is relegated to back burner concerns. I miss my wife and boy terribly. It is first thing in the morning when I feel it most. That time in the morning where you first wake up but don't need to get up yet. When I would find Kate in the sea of covers and curl up to her and wait for Finn to wake up. If I was lucky I would be pulled into sleep with her hair in my face and my arm around her. That's the way it feels, like being pulled into, falling almost and I miss that. I wake up now and reach out to find her, for a second forgetting that she isn't there, and longing is heavy on my chest and I catch my breath.