rain beats lakers

I am not sure the Lakers have ever won a game in the city that I am living in, while I live there. I went to two Laker games in Indiana where the Lakers got rolled by terrible Pacer teams and now in the time I lived in Portland the Lakers look terrible when ever they come here. I don't know if it's the rain, if it's the manic fans, or if there is some sort of curse but it's getting old. How can this team dominate the rest of the league and not win in Portland? I'm hoping that when I read The Book of Basketball by Bill Simmons as soon as Kyle sends it to me I will learn the answer. I'm sure in that 700 page monstrosity there has to be something on the Lakers atrocious showing in the Rose City

talking about the singer

Our good friends our in town from Montana and we took them to see Music time at Posie's Cafe in the Kenton neighborhood. The place was packed and it seems this hidden gem we had been enjoying is not so hidden anymore. As I have said before Finn loves music time and today after it was all done he went up to Mr. Ben to tell him thank you for the great show and he asked if he could talk into the singer. Mr. Ben wasn't sure what he was talking about and looked to Beautiful for some help but she didn't know either. "Can I talk in the singer?" he asked again this time pointing at the microphone stand. "Oh, the singer! No the microphone got put away but next time come up right when we are done and you can talk into the microphone then." Finn smiled and said "Oh I see, Microphone not singer. Thank you for the good show Mr. Ben! See you next time." If you live in the portland area and have kids them keep Mr. Ben in mind for your birthday parties or board meetings. If you need a reference Finn will be happy to get his guitar out and play you some of his favorite Mr. Ben songs

zoo lights

We went to Zoo lights last night at the Portland Zoo and it was amazing. The place was packed and we had to gently push our way through crowds but there were lights everywhere. It was a magical scene and Finn was soaking it up. He was running and skipping around he was so excited and when we saw the train all lit up his joy bubbled out into a spinning little dance. The train had a line half way around the park so we decided to hold off on that trip until next time we come and with out membership that will be sooner then later. Finn decided that his cousin Jake would love this but Milo and Toby might be too little. He thought about it a bunch, how much those guys would like this and what part would be the best for them. He said we would need a bigger stroller to bring the babies in, maybe two strollers. It was really great for me to see the lights but even better to see how much Finn loved them.

a lovely day

This past weekend was beautiful in Portland and we were able to take advantage of it nicely. We were up and out of the house early Saturday morning all bundled up and wondering how we were going to get from just above freezing to 70*. We walked over to Pistils Nursery to get our starts for the vegetable garden. Back at the house we cleaned out the back beds and planted our future harvest. Henry ate as much dirt as he could get before we moved him away. By the time we had the plants in the ground it was already warming up nicely. We made a late breakfast and opened up all the windows. After the afternoon naps we set out to find all the "Go By______" signs in Portland. Kate is redoing the boys room for the 97,145th time this month and these phots figure prominently. We took the train one stop down then walked across the Broadway bridge where we saw the Go By Train sign, then into the Pearl where the Go By Streetcar is. We took a streetcar towards NW 23rd where the Go By Cab sign is at the Cab depot. We walked back and got some Gelatto before walking back across the bridge and back home. We were sidetracked though by a fountain that Finn needed to play in. It was such a nice day in the midst of the cold winter and you can see the pictures of the day on the Flickr page.

New Seasons

Coming out of New Seasons Market with my lentil soup into the quickly piling snow I am starting to feel at home. It is cold and wet out and I can see my breath as I make my way around the store to the back where I parked. There are people waiting as the train pulls up and looking through the window of the cafe inside the grocery store the hipsters are out in force. I'm not sure that Portland is who I am but I think it is who I want to be and that makes it homey in a way that I can't easily put into words. My Eco-Indie-Liberal-Hipster-bicycle cred is lacking and I am more likely to stay in then hike to base camp at Mt. Hood but there is something about the city that resonates with me in a way that Hawaii never did. I loved getting the chance to live in Hawaii at a great house on the beach with a swimming pool and convertible sports car to take in the sights. All of those things were great but they didn't resonate. I may never have a Suburu or drink Pabst Blue Ribbon at the Douglas Fir but I hope to take the train more, buy local, grow what I can, and enjoy good coffee, who knows I might even get out and hike a little.

The beach to the Snow

I am 5000 feet up an hour into to a six hour trip back to Portland with Finn playing with everyone of his trucks on the empty seat in our row. It was an adventure to get from the car to the airplane and a fitting end to an adventure in Hawaii. We have been here for the last six months and we are now heading back to a new house, new housemates and a lot of uncertainty. We spent the morning gathering toys and clothes and getting the bags packed before heading to the beach for one last play in the surf. Finn is now fearless in the water on the day when he is leaving. We was jumping into waves and body a surfing a little even having waves wash over his head as he got up and squealed with joy. While standing the whitewash saying goodbye to some great neighbors I had a Man-of-War wrap completely around my foot. I grabbed Finn and put him out of the water and then walked back in to peel off the jelly fish. It stung immediately and it took me a minute or two to get all the tentacles out. We took that as a cue to head back to the house and as we were walking back I felt the sting move up my leg. After washing off in the outdoor shower I now had a sore leg and really sore groin area. The stinging pain was bad but expected, the pain in my groin was not. Scott said the same thing happened to him when he didn’t get the tentacles off right away and that it goes away in a half hour. It didn’t go away in a half hour and it was a terrible pain. I would focus on the burning sting on my foot to take my mind away from the other pain. Laying on the ground in our room I woke Henry up form his nap with my moaning and after about an hour the pain started to go away. My foot still hurts after four hours but I can live with that. I made it the whole 6 months without getting hit and on the morning we left, as a going away present, I got a fine send off.

Finn and I are now in Clatskanie making our way through the snow and slushy streets. We walked down for coffee this afternoon and went out later in the car to visit some cousins. It is fun for us to be in the snow but for everyone here they are over it. We will go visit Papa tomorrow if we can make it out and then head to Portland later this weekend to make sure I can make it to work next week.

North East Goodness

Here is the house that we will be living in starting in January. Casa de RitRoh will be lively and spacious with room for visitors to sleep in real beds. No more Blow up mattresses for Mark and Kendra, congratulations kids you get a real room. Please get your reservations in early as we are already starting to get requests for prime spring and summer time spots and we want to make sure that you get the dates your looking for. Can you tell I'm a little excited about the new place, just a little.

Transition away from transition

Four more weeks in Hawaii and then Finn and I will be heading back to Portland. It has been a good and tough time in Hawaii. Working from home has been wonderful, seeing Jake grow and being part of this formative time of his life has been and honor but not being able to get away and having 3 kids 2 and under has been tough. We had grand plans of financial gains that have gone largely unrealized but we have had relational gains that more then make up them. It has been harder then we thought it was going to be but we would do it again in a heartbeat. As the time is moving towards our departure though we can't help but look forward to the new, to the horizon. We will be moving in with friends in a 5 bedroom house is trendy North East Portland. A block from the Max and a great park and walking distance to two Breweries, if that isn't heaven I am not sure what is. We are in for tough times working out our lives in the midst of another family. trying to learn the steps to a new dance when we all have different tunes in mind. As usual communication is going to be key, as is thick skin and short memories. For Kate the opportunity to set up house is what she is looking forward to most. To have rooms that she can't arrange and re-arrange is necessary for a sense of home and she is already diagraming our room without seeing the room. For the last couple of transitions we have found that things don't work out the way we think they are going to and we know this next one will follow suit. We want to be more aware of our expectations and how we manage and communicate those. We want to have more contentment in the now even if it doesn't look like what we imagined from farther away. We have found that contentment in Hawaii after some false starts and frustrations and I think we are in a good place going in. I hope more then anything that the transitions are coming to an end for a while. I have a terrible sense of displacement and want to find where I fit now. I'm ready to pause in the stream now, to let the silt settle so i can see the bottom, see where I have been and maybe get a better picture of where we are going. 

Missing the lady bug man

I am back in Portland for some training at work. I flew in early Monday morning and will be here until next Sunday leaving Kate to face the boys alone. If you haven't read how that is going please click here and read away, she is a much better writer and her story is much more interesting then mine right now. It is nice to sleep through the whole night, talk with adults, and need a blanket at night because it has cooled down but I would rather be there with her and then boys. Right when I got into training I put this picture up on my screen. I can't look at it and not smile, his look is perfect. That picture, skype, and a number of phone calls throughout the day help me pass the time until I get back on the island with them while also trying to enjoy my time here.

Polling the hive

Where do you go to find out what is happening in a new city that you have moved to? What are the resources to take advantage of to get plugged in quicker? These are the two questions rolling around while I sit in class learning complex piece of software to support. In two days we will move into our new apartment in Beaverton and I have been trying to see what's what with our new neighborhood. I have located the library and will be heading there as soon as I get a piece of mail with our new address. I have also located the bank and closest bookstore and the bus route to the max. Most of the other stuff is going to come from getting out and about and meeting people who give you a few pieces of their tiles to add to your new mosaic but in the mean time where else should I look? What do you think is important to find out right away when you move to a new place?

Sleepy shopper

This past Saturday Kate and I toured small fraction of the many many apartment complexes in the greater Beaverton area. We looked long and hard at a place in the city but could not find a 2 bedroom place in our price range within easy access to the max. It was a tough decision but off to the suburbs we went in search of a place for right now while we looked for the future. Through out the process we were in and out of the car, pulling Finn out of his seat and strapping him back in. Me entertaining him while Kate talked with the property managers, and trying to keep him happy and fed so we could see as many as possible and I have to say we have a great kid. He flirted with all the people that gave us the tours and looked with surprise at large closets or open kitchens. He would point and strain to see around corners and clap when we came into new rooms. He was picking up on our cues as we responded to different places and was mimicking us. It was too cute. After we toured about 8 places Finn hit a wall but instead of throwing a fit he just quietly fell asleep in his car seat as we drove the 2 miles to the next apartment. We decided to call off the search and go get some food, giving Finn some time to sleep. When we got to the Deli I grabbed Finn without him waking up. I carried him around a bit waiting for him to wake up but he never did. At the deli I laid him on the booth seat and he continued to sleep while we ate. I think we found the place we are going to live and through the whole process our boy was fantastic.

Jobs abound

Well I finished my first week of work in over a year. Last Friday morning I got an offer from a software company in Beaverton to start work on Monday. It is a pretty great company with a strong product and the real beauty of the situation is the benefits. That I get them is no big deal but that they start Nov. 1 is huge. Most companies have a 3 to 6 month period before benefits start, at least they do at the pay-grade I operate at, but this one starts much sooner. That allowed us to set up an appointment with a Dr. and get a much needed ultra sound scheduled, in the end we were looked after better then we could have thought to pray for. It seems that is often the way God works in our life. He knows a bit more then we do and just wants a little participation on our end. Anyway I have been commuting for the last week, up at 4:45 AM and out the door at 5:20 AM only to be back home at about 5:30 PM. I have a 7-4 schedule right now that will change once training is finished. I will then have the 8-5 shift that will hopefully be aided by closer living and ample public transportation. We are looking for apartments in an area that is one train and one short bus trip away from work. I am looking forward to that time though I am not burnt out where I am at yet.

Kate is doing well readjusting to being at home with Finn and without me. What seemed like a long vacation is now transforming back into life with all the regular joys and trials. Kate has started a job of her own today in Portland. She is working part time at Anthroplogie for sanity and friendship. She is much too social to have only one person to talk to and the company is one that she has loved from afar and wants to see if it holds up when she peeks behind the veil.

Finn has had some interaction with other kids his age and has been found a solid sharer. He plays well with others and is adorable to more then just his relatives. Him and I went to church while Kate worked this morning and he was the only kid in his Wobbler class. There were 5 volunteers in the class and they went on and on about what a great, beautiful, funny, adorable, emotive kid he was. He smiled at me with a conspiratorial as they all told me how great he was. He is a charmer for sure.

Some bad news and some other news

I got an email yesterday from a company that I had three interviews with that told me they were going in another direction. I thought that I had the job and was really disappointed when I found out I didn't. I'm kinda down after that but I kept at the resumes and contacts to find some more opportunities. I am not sure where the job is going to come from but I really wish it would happen soon.

We finally got our car back from the shop after another two broken bolts and cracked pulley. We went in Tuesday to get it and waited around for two hours while the mechanics tried to finish up. The broke the pulley at 8 PM and the 12 year old yelled out a string of swears that would make a sailor blush. They got it figured out and we picked the car up late Wednesday night. Not having a car for the last couple of days and not getting a job I was hopeful about have left me a little less hopeful but today we went into Portland and my son fell asleep in the car with his fist balled up and his little feet crossed and I didn't feel so bad anymore.

Meeting the Neighbors

When we left the house today to run some errands we passed these two looking get connected back with two of their friends that had already crossed the road. We didn't see too many deer in FSQ. Today we looked at a couple of rental houses in the South East Neighborhood of Hawthorne and the North East Neighborhood of Mississippi with Jesse and Carly. It was great to see what was out there and what things cost it was hard not being able to snatch up any of those places. There needs to be a job before we can get an idea of what we can pay for rent so today was more research then anything else. No word on any jobs today other then some one calling me to tell me I not qualified for a job they were going to submit me for. Thanks for that.

Jobs and the longing

The job search is going, though I am not sure how it is going. I mean until you have a job it really isn't going that well is it? There seems to be some interest in my silly list of accomplishments but not enough for an interview or job offer. I have started to hear from companies in Portland instead of Indy, Waco, and Phoenix so that is plus. My spirits are still high because I know that this is a process that will take some time. I'm trying not to think about my wife at her appointment, 18 weeks along and all is well, wondering where and when we will find a Dr. here. Trying not to worry about where we will live and if Finn will be OK until we get insurance again. That stuff is out of my control for right now so it is relegated to back burner concerns. I miss my wife and boy terribly. It is first thing in the morning when I feel it most. That time in the morning where you first wake up but don't need to get up yet. When I would find Kate in the sea of covers and curl up to her and wait for Finn to wake up. If I was lucky I would be pulled into sleep with her hair in my face and my arm around her. That's the way it feels, like being pulled into, falling almost and I miss that. I wake up now and reach out to find her, for a second forgetting that she isn't there, and longing is heavy on my chest and I catch my breath.

From plans to reality

Writing this I am sitting in a coffee-tanning-ice cream place in Clatskanie, OR tweaking my resume and scouring the online job posting while trying not to think about how much I miss Kate, Finn, John, Tonya, Cosi, Carrie, ......... My brother Mark, and friend Jesse flew out to Indy to drive with me cross country to Oregon last week and we made the trip in 38 hours. We left Indy at 11 AM and made it to my parent's house at 10:30 PM the next day. It was an epic road trip that we dominated from start to finish. Three iPods full of music and a mix CD that encapsulated the mood of the trip perfectly, moving from excitement and hope to sadness searching and then back really helped the time go by. We had a rotation of 2-4 hours of driving with the other two taking the bulk of the midnight to sunrise driving time.

Now that Mark and Jesse are back home and I am left here to start the job search it's hard not to think back to what I have left behind. There are great pictures up on Flickr of Sunday night dinners and Labor Day beach outings that left tears on my keyboard. There was this line in a book I recently read where the woman was looking back at a time in her life where she was having some minor problems compared to the hell her life had become and she says "How were we supposed to know we were happy then?" There is a big part of me that fears we will do the same. This move to Portland seems like the right decision but I don't have any certainty to it, it very well could be the worse decision we have made and I would be lying if I said I didn't worry about that. Worry is no good here though, I am here, Kate and Finn are coming and so I look for a job. Then we look for a place to live. Then we look for all the other things we will need to make it in our new home.

Plans (written by Kate)

With a baby on the way and a job I hate, a change is in order. Occupational options are limited in Indianapolis, I'm in love with an MFA program in Seattle and James has a family friend highly connected in the computer industry in Portland. So to the Pacific Northwest we go. In a very short amount of time, we have weighed the options, prayed for a clear and peaceful direction and then been caught up in the momentum of all things falling into place. In one week I will give notice. In two weeks we drive to Iowa for my cousin's wedding. In three weeks we will pack up a trailer and send James and his parents off with our stuff. And shortly after, Finn and I will fly to Portland to meet up with James, find a place to live and generally begin the process of making our acquaintance with a new city, a bigger, more hippie-friendly, mass transitted, rainy city.

We are overwhelmed by this decision and generally feeling in equally powerful levels: really sad to be leaving Indianapolis and the people we love here, a place and time that we will likely look back on as Utopian communal living with beautiful and talented people, leaving my parents who have been both generous and overwhelmingly loving and a short drive away; and feeling really excited to be starting over and finding a new city and community to be connected to and love. We know that this is what we are supposed to be doing right now, a supernatural sense of direction. But we are fully aware of what we are leaving behind and hope that we are half as lucky again.

We are city people, James and I are. Every time we go to New York or Chicago or even smaller cities like Cincinnati or Louisville, we are energized and inspired. I picture us riding the subway, taking Finny to school and stopping at the flower market to pick up some daisies for the front hall table. We will look to be around people and activity and cultural centers always and this move feels like the realization of that part of us. Not that Indianapolis does not have its appeal, it does. We have certainly been surprised by the cultural, artistic and athletic thriving we have found here. But with Indianapolis, there is the sense that we know or will know soon all that there is to know about the city, that everyone is connected enough that if you know five key people, you know them all, which is great in a lot of ways. Being connected is a thrilling sense of belonging in overlapping relationships. But we both have a sense of more things to see, more book shops, cafes on corners, art galleries and boutiques to know. We are perhaps instilled with that very American manifest destiny, of exploration and discovery—not of anything new or uncharted—but new to us. And we are thrilled at the prospect.