just when we thought we were out ...

It was a beautiful day in Portland with blue skies and a warm sun on short sleeved arms. The boys played outside for most of the day and I got out and trimmed the rose bushes and raked up the left over leaves and blown down branches from weeks of wind and rain. It was so nice out today that we made fish tacos and citrus salsa like it was summer. If only we weren't out of tequila we would have had some margaritas with our summer meal. The nice day outside helped the growing panic on the inside after hearing last night that our house in Indiana is listed on the tax sale because of unpaid back property taxes. We thought it was a mistake since our mortgage just went up due to an escrow payment that was meant to be for back taxes but instead went to home insurance. Our mortgage company didn't have our new policy after we changed insurance companies so they found their own and added it to our bill. A long day of phone calls and I think we are all straightened out now but the sunny gardening kept me from throwing up from the panic attack. Ironically the night before Beautiful and I were talking about how for once in our mariage we had all the bills and spinning plates under control. That feeling lasted all of 6 hours before reality came crashing down on us. There is always something we are missing.

rain beats lakers

I am not sure the Lakers have ever won a game in the city that I am living in, while I live there. I went to two Laker games in Indiana where the Lakers got rolled by terrible Pacer teams and now in the time I lived in Portland the Lakers look terrible when ever they come here. I don't know if it's the rain, if it's the manic fans, or if there is some sort of curse but it's getting old. How can this team dominate the rest of the league and not win in Portland? I'm hoping that when I read The Book of Basketball by Bill Simmons as soon as Kyle sends it to me I will learn the answer. I'm sure in that 700 page monstrosity there has to be something on the Lakers atrocious showing in the Rose City

Thwarted but not completely

Yesterday in an effort to get to the gym we divided up the kids and started to get ready. I grabbed Henry and Went into Jake's room. Changed Henry's diaper and put some clothes on him while Jake bounced in his bed so excited to see us. Once Henry was dressed I put hm in Jake's Crib and pulled Jake out to change his diaper and get him dressed. With both babies in onesies and socks per gym rules we went into the other room Where Kate had got Finn up and dressed. I got my very stylish workout outfit on with Jake in Henry's baby cage and Henry on the bed properly pillowed to keep him from rolling off. Towels, diapers, water bottle, plugs, iPods, and membership cards gathered Kate went out to the car to back it out while I gathered up the babies again. Kate let out some minor profanity (which Finn repeated 3 or 25 times) as she walked back to the house. Jake's carseat is in Scott's car so we can't go. Gathering up the kids and parphenalia needed to go out is a mini workout in itself so Kate sent me out on my own. I think the thought is I'm the fat one and need the workout more. It was nice to get out with no kids even if it was to workout. I put the windows down, hooked up the workout playlist from the iPod to the stereo and enjoyed the view. Once at the gym there was one machine open on the end and I got on and got started. There are flat screen TVs with things like ball games and news and luck would have it that the two in front of me had Judge Judy and Some Headline News "Where's Caylee?" show. I tell you I couldn't care less about either of those two. Seriously, this is news. I'm probably a terrible person but how can you devot an entire show to that crap. It was a call in show too, so people were watching and calling in to get their two cents in. I turned up the music and powered through sweating like a madman. The workout felt good, exhausting but fruitful. Not the plan but a good hour away for me.

Temporary Insanity

Tonight was a hard night, a really hard night. I think we knew that there would be nights like this but it doesn't make it any easier. Jake is not feeling well and might be in the first stages of the bug Finn and I had, or he might just be pooping a lot for no reason. He has been unhappy tonight, unhappy eating, unhappy being held, unhappy in his crib. Henry has not been going down either and has been crying pretty loud in his baby cage. Finn is doing well but hungry for a bit of attention as we pinball back and forth between the screaming babies. Jake and Finn we are used to but Henry doesn't cry much so when he gets worked up like this it is a bit demoralizing. He has got some teeth coming in and that has to hurt like hell and I understand his crying, and I understand Jake and his wanting to not poop anymore and Finn and his need to get some attention too. I understand all of it but it is still hard. Right now Jake is screaming in his room and Henry is screaming on the other side of the house in his room. Finn is in the middle going to sleep like a champ. Kate had to get away and go to the beach for a bit because it was too much. After a long week tonight was just too much. We have no idea when Scott will ever come home, if he is working, or out for a run, or out to a movie while we manage the screaming and it becomes too much. I feel isolated tonight, like I am on an island in the middle of the ocean and I can't get off it. It's not always like this, I don't want you to think this is so hard all the time, it is tonight. Tonight it is hard, really hard. When Kate needs to get away she feel guilty for leaving me with the boys and so does not really get to de-stress at all. She just trades her overwhelming sense of responsibility in for overwhelming guilt for not being strong enough to endure. I realize that this is coming off way too intense and it is not a life or death thing. If you have kids I think you can relate, it's not that bad over all. but it is too hard right now. I feel guilty even writing this because I know that Mandy is going to read it and feel bad, and I don't want you to feel bad Mandy. It helps to write it out, to get it out of the head and on to the page and as I'm writing there is slience in the house and the screaming has stopped. The boys are asleep and it is getting better. I am feeling better. Can anyone else relate to this feeling of temporary insanity?

Tax time joys

I sat down in front of the computer with a fist full of W-2's and 1099's and set about doing our taxes. I had heard that the first year doing taxes with a kid is usually pretty nice so there was some excitement in the air. As I as going through entering in the information I came to a road block, no social security number for Finn. The tax man says no sosh, no tax credit.

So today I set aside for getting Finny a SSN. First I forgot his birth certificate as I was taking Kate to work. I thought I was going to go straight over from dropping her off but I had to run home first. Car running, baby sleeping a ran inside with visions of Car Jackings running through my head. Finny and the car were both still there 15 seconds later when I came outside and breathed easier. It was 15* outside with a gale blowing putting my favorite weather index (windchill) at below 0. Sweet sassy molassy that is cold and as we walked form our parking spot to the government building Finn was doing his "My chest hurts and I can't breave" imitation over and over again. We waited for 30 minutes and got up to the counter only to find out that we need his shot records. Man I love these government agencies, no word of that in the phone call I made. Off we went to Finny's pediatrician to get his shot records but she wasn't there and the nurses sent me back and forth from one end of the building to the other a couple of times before 45 minutes later they handed me paper I needed. Back to the Social Security office with an even longer wait we finally got to the window with all the necessary documents to find out that Finn has a SSN already. The hospital filed the paper work for it but that information was never sent to us. I got the number, went back home and finished the taxes, getting one thing accomplished from my list of over twenty. On the bright side we are getting money back.