it's fantastic!

It turns out the NBA finals and my boys are engaged in an epic battle for my attention and while I love Finn and Henry like they were my own kids the Lakers are involved in these Finals. The Lakers! It all started easy enough with my watching the first quarter in the basement. Henry was asleep and Finn went with Beautiful to the store. I even got some time with my dad as we endured a truly terrible first period. My dad had to get on the road so he left and I went upstairs to wake Jesse and watch the second quarter with him. Finn came home a ball of energy but was mostly placated with trucks and trips downstairs to find more toys. At Halftime we paused the game and enjoyed some tasty home made nachos. The third quarter found the boys getting baths and me settling in for the meat of the game. Finn came up first naked as jay bird and most likely on speed. He was bouncing around the room and climbing all over me. He disappeared for a minute and then came back up with Lakers jersey on, but no Chonies yet. A fact he made clear to Uncle Mark over iChat by flashing him. The fourth quarter found Henry up there with us, naked as well. Who's in charge of getting these kids some clothes? It is a nail biter down the end and with 1:40 left and the score tied at 84 it gets fun.

• 1:32 Rashard Lewis nails a jumper to put ORL up 86-84. At the same moment Jesse find what he believes to be poop on the couch. After a quick look it is indeed poop care of Henry and naked bottom.
• I grab Henry and run downstairs to get him clean and to get a freaking diaper on the poop machine while he screams at contorts his body to fight the shackles of diapers. I miss Kobe hitting an 11 footer to tie and Hedo taking the lead again on a long two pointer.
• I run down to the basement to see if we have upholstery cleaner and nearly miss slipping on more poop on the stairs. There are little deposits on three straight stairs. Apparently he had the crawling poops or he left himself a trail in a twisted take on Handsel and Gretel. Either way I missed a Gasol layup with 33 seconds left to tie the game. I heard it as I was cleaning the stairs.
• Heading back up from the basement I throw away my napkins of treats and Beautiful puts a still angry Henry down for bed.
  
• I run upstairs to get Naked son number two while Courtney Lee misses a layup with 10 seconds left. Lakers Ball 10 seconds to go, Time Out. It's about time I catch a break!
• I get Finn down in the basement, mostly because I want Jesse to enjoy the game even if I can't and partly because I can't look him in the eye after my son grew a tail on his couch. They just don't make a Hallmark card for that situation.
• In the basement we get Finn clothed and watch Kobe get blocked from behind on the would be game winner by an all of sudden good defender in Hedo. Sitting on the edge of the table roughly 4 inches from the TV I watch in horror as Hedo lofts a great pass to a wide open Lee for a layup that some how does not go in. Thank you rookie!
• Overtime starts with pleas from Finn to play trucks with him. Not gonna happen little man but you can come here and watch basketball with me. He declines. Kobe turns the ball over for the seventh time and I jump up and explain to the TV my displeasure. Finn looks confused and tells me that it hurts his ears when I do that. I tell him that it hurts my eyes when Kobe does that.
• The Lakers play well in OT and with huge games from Odom and Gasol hold on for a 2-0 lead in these Finals. I put Finn down to bed with a kiss and a long hug and resettle Henry who is no longer unhappy but not yet asleep. They are good boys and I love them deeply. But we might need to get them little Hannibal Lecter masks for game 3.
  

the one where I write too much about poop

When Kate and the boys showed up to pick me up from work Finn had a new red truck and trailer in his hands and a huge smile on his face. The truck he had was a special one because it was the one the he got when he pooped in the potty for the first time. We had a close call the night before when Finn called for me but I got there too late. We have been doing the potty training thing for the last week now and Finn had not dropped the deuce yet. He had number one down and was even mixing it up with the kids potty and the big toilet but he was seriously scared of pooping. We talked about it a lot, going through all the people who poop, but he was not a fan. I think that the close call and the rewarding him for being close was the tipping point though because the next day he told Kate, reluctantly, that he needed to go while she was on the phone with Tom Tom. She rushed him to the throne and he sat there crying "I don't want to poop, I AM POOPING, I don't want to poop, I AM POOPING!" He was right there in the center of his fear dealing head on with the poop. He got through it with some help from Kate and Tom Tom and he couldn't have been prouder of himself. I have to admit that I was so happy and proud of him. It was one proudest moments of my life, I was fighting back tears as he showed me his new truck. I can't believe how much this process has effected me. I mean it's really not that big of deal but I was about to cry because I was so happy for my boy that he pooped in the potty. This parenting thing is crazy thing. Later that night I was down watching a basketball game and it was getting around bath time and Finn had been gone for a while. I went upstairs from the basement and met Finn halfway up the stairs. He had his Lightening McQueen Chonnies halfway up and another big smile on his face. "I pooped in the potty again!" While we were downstairs Finn went up to the bathroom, sat on his potty, pooped, pulled the bucket out and dumped it in the toliet and flushed it, all without us anywhere around him. I went in and saw the tell tale signs in his potty and the big one and helped him wipe up completely blown away. So this little mang mang who yesterday would not poop in the potty for anything, then reluctantly does, then does it on his own with no fan fare or help from mommy or daddy. Apparently he aged 3 years in day and we are now out of reward trucks. The good news is that we don't really need a reward any more because Finn apparently has got it under control. I know we still have some accidents in our future but our midget is growing up and I am as proud of him as Michael Phelp's mom before that whole weed thing.

After their sleep but before mine

There are times when I go into the boy's room before going to bed myself and I am hit by something powerful. I well up with tears and I love them fiercely. or maybe it is joy, or maybe it is something else entirely. I am not sure what it is exactly but it is powerful and it has a an intense effect on me. I pull Henry's cover back over him, the one that he is in now laying on after going to bed with it on him. I am not sure the process of going from awake to sleep for Henry but it involves going from his back with the blanket on him to laying on his stomach with the blanket scrunched bellow him like a sky blue body pillow. When I see his face the feeling hits me and I want to live in that moment but I think I would explode. It is too intense to inhabit and so it passes quickly leaving me near tears and full. It is all I can do to not pick him up, wake him, and hold him tight. I have to will myself to move slowly and controlled pulling his blanket out to cover him again. Then I go over to Finn in his toddler bed and kneel down with my head on his pillow. I tell him important things and smell his hair. I want to crawl in bed with him but I am too big and I have my own bed to get to. These boys have no idea the effect they have on me, even sleeping, especially sleeping. I know I will embarrass them when they are older trying to tell them how amazing it was for me to watch them sleep. They will think I am crazy and they will be right in a way. It really is crazy how much I love those boys. I am consumed with love for them, it is intoxicating and probably the best part of my day is going into their room when they are sleeping. It is crazy, but I don't care. I'm OK with being crazy.

Clean teeth are Happy Teeth

Finn had his first dentist appointment today and he held up pretty well. He cried a bit while the dentist was doing his thing but all in all he was much better then I am. Before we got married and before I lost my insurance in Santa Barbara I went to the dentist to get things fixed. I don't hate the dentist per say but I am no fan. I remember being in my office and have Beautiful come in after I got back and I was still shaking and feeling sick. I have a reaction to dentists, Dr.s, Hospitals and the like that is deep and intense. Again it isn't fear, it is really much bigger and more nebulous than that. I am worried that my reactions to these things will rub off on my boys. I try not to let that happen the way I have learned to like vegetables and food that I didn't eat before. There is this sort of living out how I want my boys to live. If I want them to be adventurous eaters then I need to be, if I want them to see the dentist regularly and not be effected then I need to. This is really hard to live out though, Rome wasn't built in a day right. It is all a grinding it out as we go process and today was another chip.

He's a bit of a Screamer

Finn has started this screaming phase and he is not letting it go. When he wants something he is not getting he screeches at high pitch in short piercing bursts until you give him what he wants. When we know what it is we can ignore him and not give in so we can try to teach him that we do not respond to this frequency and I think I am better at this than Kate is only because I face it more then she does. It is when we have no idea what he is trying to communicate that it gets really tough to handle. For some reason the scream for the unknown reason makes me go crazy and want to ring his little neck. Why is that? It's not a different sound. It is just as piercing and peace shattering but one has no effect on me, and the other sends me into a Bruce Banner-Hulk metamorphosis. I try and smile at Finn and ask him what he wants and give him some options that I think it might be, but all he does is point and scream. He could be pointing at the wall, or beyond the wall to outside, or to high chair meaning he's hungry or to any number of things that I';m sure make perfect sense to him. We have friends that assure us this phase will end and I know it will too, but in the mean time I need a translation book that translates point-scream to English, I would settle for Spanish even.

Finny the Orange

I'm gonna be honest with you, I have no idea what I'm doing on a daily basis raising Finn. What he should eat, when should he sleep, is he sick...... I think the key to parenting is just faking it until you get into a rythem. Really, I think it is that simple. I read a lot and watch people that I respect (Tina, Carrie, John) but then I just come home and pretend like I know what I'm doing and everything seems to work out. Yesterday I was feeding Finn some Lasagna Dinner baby food and he kept reach for the jar and the spoon when I would get it close to him. I started getting a little frustrated that he was thwarting my efforts to nourish him. I finally said fine you do it yourself and he did. He fed himself just fine without my help and had a blast doing it. He made an absolute mess but messes clean and Finn and I laughed ourselves silly on the back porch while he ate. I don't know if he relizes I'm faking it but even if he does I think we'll be OK. I'm a good faker and he's a good sport.