Relaxing Weekend

For a nice quiet weekend back from the Northwest we thought we would relax by driving 5 to 6 hours up to Madison Wisconsin. Well more riding then driving if the truth be told. We hopped in the McGrail RV and met up with Meg and Mike at the now familiar half way point hotel. It was a nice visit we a baby that travels like a champ. He slept well in his pack-n-play and Kate and I got to stretch out in a King Sized bed. A king sized bed is nice in theory but Kate cuddles up to me where ever I am in bed negating the roominess of the royal bed. Along with the pinochle and hanging out we made a stop off at the Disneyland of Habitat style, Ikea. FYI Sunday is a great day to stop off at Ikea in Chicago. You get a chance to see well over half of the residents of the city in one place, you can’t beat that! We made it out of there with a receipt under 3 bills an RV load rugs, frames, and bedding that will no doubt lead to hours of re-arranging at home.

An aesthetic experiment

I have changed the look of things around here because Finn was with Grandma all day and I am easily distracted from doing my house work. So the house is a mess and the bags of clothes and books are in the garage instead of at the Goodwill but there is a new look to my silly diary. If only Kate would see how much work I actually did do today!

Fishing for Rohls

I was born in the Pacific Northwest where fishing and logging are more part of your birthright then learned behavior. My parents met in a town between Portland and the coast on Highway 30 called Clatskanie. The town was named after the river that flows through town to the Columbia River and also the name of a Native American people that were wiped out by small pox, fever, and intermarriage. The town started to grow under the financial support of Simon Benson. Mills and the Benson Log Raft lead to growing logging industry in and around Clatskanie and that, combined with the Salmon Fishing on the River, brought the Finnish to the area.

What, do you ask, has this got to do with anything? Nothing really, I just enjoy the beginnings of things and during my recent trip back to see my parents and whoever else we could find I was thinking of those beginnings. I was thinking about how I have had a number of different jobs and never really settled into a specific field of work. Then I thought of my dad and the different jobs he had. There is a thread of construction that he comes back to now and then but really he has spent as much time out of that industry as he has in it. Then I thought of my Grandfather and the stories my dad told of him never having a steady job to speak of. He made due with nine kids and took in whoever needed looking after like they were family, but not on a steady pay check. My uncles seem to have all embraced this sporadic approach to work as well and it makes me wonder if there is something hard wired in our DNA. We are all extremely hard workers and seem to really do well at what ever field we are currently tilling but it is a matter of time before we will be in a different field. That sporadic, nomadic nature makes my family tough to find at times and this recent trip had us on a trolling run for family.

We loaded Finny in his borrowed car seat (thanks Crystal) and my parents and I set out to see as many Rohls as we could. Heading West of 30, just out side of Westport we stopped to see Brett "Maverick" Rohl, the youngest of the 9 kids. He wasn't there of course, recently paid and with his on-again-off-again girlfriend. Seems the "paid" and "on-again" were linked. Undaunted we headed to the coast where my Grandfather "Papa" and uncle live. Papa wasn't home and his phone was off the hook all day. Stan "Skeeter" and Randy "Pablo" weren't around either so we headed to Astoria. Finally in Astoria we found my uncle Steve. Steve is an anomaly in the family in that he doesn't have a nickname that everyone knows him by. He isn't the only one but he is the one that my brother and I are closest with so it seems strange. We sat and talked to Steve and looked through old pictures and letter my dad and Tom sent from Vietnam. It was good to see Uncle Steve and reminisce about childhood fishing trips and killer bees. From Steve's we went and saw uncle Kelley "Beaver". Beaver has become the the uncle that we see the most because he seems to have the most stable life. Where some of my uncles seem more like strangers Beaver is family and I love him deeply. Last year my uncle Tony died and it sadly had no effect on me because I didn't know him. My uncle Tom is the same way, I can't remember the last time I saw him and I'm not sure I would recognize him if he walked by me.

We saw two out of the six remaining uncles before heading back to Clatskanie. We didn't see Papa, I really wanted him to meet Finn. It was a typical fishing trip though: a couple good catches dispersed around lots of disappointment.

Unexpected Visit

About a week before Christmas I was talking to my parents and really missing them. They were supposed to come for Thanksgiving but could not due time and finances. They both sounded sad when I talked to them as they wondered when they would get to see their Grandson again. After getting off the phone with them I called Kate and asked her if Finn and I could go out to Oregon to visit them. With that I started getting ready for the trip. I got a cheap ticket online, when your travel time is flexible you get great deals, and conspired with my Aunt to pick us up from the airport. The day we arrived Portland was just finishing up a surprise of it's own in the form of a big snow storm. The 45 minute trip to the airport took my aunt and uncle 2 hours in thier little car with no chains or snow tires. We slowly made our way back to Clatskanie and decided on the best way surprise them. We would leave Finn on the doorstep in his car seat, and hide after knocking on the door. With Finn set and the door banged, I hid around the corner. Both my mom and dad came to the door and looked down at the boy. Neither one recognized him as my dad said "hi there little guy". Then after about 20 seconds Bing says "That's Finn". My mom stood there stunned and disorientated as just last week a baby was left on a door step in Portland and it had been all over the news. The grin on my dad's face got bigger when I came around the corner and my aunt popped up from her hiding spot, my mom on the other hand just stood there, mouth open, stunned. I wentup and hugged her and she just started sobbing. They had been surprised indeed.

New Phone

For christmas I got a new Motorola Q from my father-in-law Tom. This post is actually written from that new phone in an effort to see all of the wicked cool things I can do with it.

Let it snow let it snow

We finaly have some snow here in the midwest. This morning we awoke to a light dusting of snow covering all the eye can see. I got Finn in his snow suit and we went outside to see what he thought of the whole business. He was not impressed. The snow blowing on his face made him gasp like all the oxeygen had left his lungs. He does that when ever the wind blows on his face as well. He scrunched his hands in the snow but quickly tucked them back into his suit. We took Kate to work and Finny was worn out from the whole experience, he's now sleeping peacefully in his car seat, still in his snow suit.

Long Nights with a sick baby

Last night I was up with Finn for most of the night. The little monkey has a bad cough and last night he could not sleep for more then 30 minutes at a time. After searching online for what to do with the cough that he had I ran the shower and Finn and I played in the bathroom for 30 minutes while the steam filled the room. Here is the thing, I had a baby that was coughing so much he could barely breath yet he was still happy. He wouls start laughing at me as I tried to move in the close confines of our bathroom. It was a difficult night but such a great time. When he wasn't coughing he was laying his head on my shoulder and scrunching his hands in my beard. I loved him so much last night.

7 Months of Finn

Probably better to start at the bottom but either way is cool.


Finn at 7 Months

Finn at 6 months

Finn at 5 months

Finn at 4 months

Finn at three months with Cosi


Finn at two months

Finn at one month

Finn at two days

Finn 3 Days before he was born

Finn Doing his thing on the Jumperoo

Crazy or just being a baby

Lately Finn has taken on some odd behaviors while bouncing in his Jumperoo. He bounces a bit and then will lay his head to the right on his shoulder for a couple of seconds and then shake his head back and forth about 10 times. Then he will lay his head on the other shoulder and then shake his head again. Finally he lays his head straight back and then shakes it. He will go through this routine about 3 or 4 times throughout a jumperoo session. It is cute, funny, and a little disconcerting. Does anyone know if this is normal baby behavior?

A period on the Holidays

We are now into the new year and it has already been a significant time for Kate and I. We are three days into what will start as a diet and continue on as a way of life. We are following the South Beach Diet and so far it is going well. My first day with out sugar or caffeine was awful so the caffeine is back. One step at a time here, one step at a time. It is nice to be on the other side of the holiday season despite the wonderful time with family and friends. The holidays are exhausting and they wreak havoc on any type of routine for little monkeys. Finn's schedule was based on some form of Chaos theory that only Linsey could keep up with. Already though we are back to the slower, more reliable pace of things and Finn is getting the message.

This year we had Christmas with Kate's family and all of the sisters were in town. Mandy and Scott came in from Hawaii and Meg and Mike came down from the twin cities. Christmas was on the Friday after to accommodate the travelers and it was a classic McGrail Christmas. We had presents galore and took turns throwing our wrapping paper at Heather in an attempt to get it into that fire place. I don't want to brag or anything but I'm kinda of a big deal when it comes to throwing paper into the fire. Heather, if I hit you it wasn't cause I missed! Just kidding, I would never intentionally throw at anyone for any reason, no matter how wide they have their legs. Finn slept through the presents and Mandy was so efficient at cleaning up that we didn't get the chance to see the miracle that is babies and wrapping paper. After presents was french toast fondue and then copious amounts of pinochle. We got outside to play some basketball and had a great turkey dinner. After dinner the boys cleaned up and we played some more pinochle while the girls played some far more interesting and cerebral game whose title eludes me.

Jesse and Carly made a spur of the moment decision to come and spend time with us here in Indy and I have to say it could be one of the best decision of their young married lives. It was so great to hang out and play Wii together. While we were having Christmas up north Jesse and Carly spent a day in the city. I can't think of many other friends that I could abandon for a day while they were visiting and they would not only not have a problem with it, but have a great time.

New Years eve was spent watching Football at Kate's parents and then dinner at PF Changs with Jesse and Carly. We met up with Meg, Mike, Heather, and Andy (just friends for those of you wondering) at The Cheese Cake Factory. We had a toast at midnight and had a wonderful time enjoying the cake and conversation.

Everyone is back home now and the quiet is good. There is a restorative nature to quiet that I am really enjoying right now. Finn is cranky pants at the moment though so I will go, I hope your holidays were filled with Friends, Family, and warm memories like ours were.

No man, She hit me right here

There is a great scene in the Big Lebowski where the Dude, having been punched in the mouth and told repeatedly to see the Dr., is getting examined. The Dr. tells him to drop his pants and the Dude says "No man, she hit me here." pointing to his mouth. Well my father apparently had his own visit to that very same Dr. today. My dad does not go to the Dr. for anything. He once took a power drill to his toe nail to relieve the pressure after dropping something obscenely heavy on it. Why go to the Dr. when you have a perfectly good drill right here in the garage. While working out one morning he felt dizzy and fainted hitting his head. No Dr. there either, he self diagnosed as just trying to do too much too early. So for him to now go see a Dr. with a sore forearm from his sheet metal job my guess is that it would probably have me in constant tears if it were me. My mom went with him and waited in the lobby for nearly an hour before my dad came out pouting. You could chalk the look up to his aversion for the whole medical establishment but my guess is it had something to do with the Prostrate exam that he had just been given! How could that exam have gone worse?

"So Bing tell me where it hurts?"

"It's my fore arm doc, I think I strained it."

"OK drop your pants and lean over this table."

I imagine my dad laughing at the Dr. when he first told him he was going to give him the exam. Then that nervous laughter fading as my dad looked around the exam room for what he he will stab the Dr. with before he makes his run for it. As funny as this story was to me when my mom told me I was happy to hear that my dad finally saw a Dr. for something, and that this Dr. took this window of opportunity to check some things that men of s certain age need checked. All is well with the test though his arm is strained and needs rest. Right now the Over/Under on the amount of time Bing takes to rest that arm is right at 3 days and I have the Under.

6 Months

My life is now measured in the milestones of Finn's life. When he was born we were asked the weight and height and various other newborn stats. After a couple of weeks we are asked if he is smiling. Next comes the sleeping question, how long does he sleep? when does he go to bed? do you have a routine? Grabbing for things and head control are measured and then the laughing and babbling start. I am at the point in my life now where the next big milestone is teeth. He does not have any at the moment but all signs point to there impending arrival. Finn gums on anything he can and drools like a rabid dog. Lately he has enjoyed taking my finger with both hands and scrapping my finger nail on his gums. I instinctively feel like this is a bad idea but the kid loves it. He will itch his gums for up to 45 minutes if I let him. I spend my days charting these many other milestones in our lives and each day has it's own ups and downs. Yesterday after a check of our bank account online I was knocked around emotionally. It seems whenever there is a financial issue that comes up in our lives I feel deeply responsible and lose sight of the value in what I am doing at home. I think that if I just went back to work we would be better off, more stable. These feeling washed over me so roughly yesterday that I was worn out and tired. Sleep seemed like the only thing for me at the time. When Kate got home she knew right away that something was wrong with me but instead of asking me over and over what it was she let me know she was there when ever I figured it out myself and left it at that. I did eventually figure it out last night and talked it out with Kate. I know there is value in my decision to stay at home, I know I am not responsible for every emergency that comes up, and I know that there is no where I would rather be then here with my boy. In many ways it was an easy decision to come home while Kate went back to work. Kate is better suited for the working world and I am better suited for raising kids. That is us, that is how we break down as a couple and each couple is different. But this decision has lead to some really tight times and forced Kate and I to be vigilant with our time and money. There is very little margin for error and small variances cause big problems. We have become infinitely better with our money the less of it we make and for all of the belt tightening and penny pinching it has been the right decision. I can't tell you where a man's place or a woman's place is but my place, me personally, my place is in this house with Finn. Cooking and cleaning and changing diapers, I am valuable to my boy and I am valuable to my beautiful wife and that is more valuable to me then anything else.

It's Christmas Time at the Rohl's

A Thanksgiving Conversation

KR: For something entirely different and because of various circumstances--including but not limited to: money, travel distance, personalities and laziness--James and I have decided to stay home on our own for Thanksgiving this year. At first this seemed like a giving up, a sacrifice, a last alternative. But as we stood at the Wal-Mart neighborhood market in the heart of white trash land (more on that later) in front of the rack of spices, trying to remember the four spices we needed for stuffing and pumpkin pie and hadn’t written down, calling out possibilities to the other to jog memory, I was overwhelmed by how great this was. How until this point we had just been playing at being grown up, tagging along to other peoples traditional meals and gatherings that reminded us of the many years before where we had been too little to be of use or too teenage to want to be. Now, as we prepare our own meal, and only now, we have arrived. And I am so glad we have decided to stay home and make this our own. We have four whole days to be at home, to hang out and drink beer and make food and watch movies and see people if we want to. And the great thing is, if anything ends up scorched or underdone or just generally not good, it doesn’t really matter. It’s just us. And that’s great.

To chronicle this day, our first grown up holiday, the practice for the many that are to come, we thought we would offer a log, in conversation style to get at this day. Sound good to you babe?

JR: Sounds great beautiful! Where shall we start?

KR: How about laying in bed this morning?

JR: As good a place as any to start. Finn woke up for good at about 8:00 and Kate asked if I wanted to get up and start the holiday preparations. “Do I WANT to?” You mean as opposed to staying in this warm bed for an hour or so? Sure, I would love to get up honey.

KR: That’s not what you said though.

JR: What did I say.

KR: You said “No not really, how about you wake me up after your done feeding Finn” (v. romantic).

JR: Yes I do have a silky smooth way about me don’t I. Well I got up before you were finished feeding Finn anyway and had a look at the recipe for stuffing. Noticed we were missing a couple of key ingredients like bread, sage, and Thyme leaves. You were also missing some ingredients for your pumpkin pie and Finn had one of the last three diapers in the house on. A trip to the store might be in order. Before we could get a list going the phone rang and we were soon getting ready to meet the Goshows for what may soon be a tradition: Thanksgiving day Breakfast at Pepppy’s!

KR: Peppy’s (despite its 24 hour/7 days a week signage) was not open so we tried His and Hers, a greasy spoon diner that looks the same as it has for probably the last 50 years, including the sign on the door that enigmatically says “no shirt, no shoves, microwave oven.” It wasn’t open either. We then opted for the American classic Denny’s. It was open. We went in and I don’t know about you but I felt a wave of pity for the hostess and the cook looking through the cooking window, working on Thanksgiving morning, watching families enter in waves, making us eggs and pancakes. That was a theme that continued through the morning. Feeling bad for people working, not pancakes and eggs.

JR: You mean Debbie Downer at the grocery store? Yeah she was a holiday treat wasn’t she? For about 5 minutes my favorite guy of the day was 300 lbs. young black man who, seeing my confusion in front of the spices, asked what I was making and then told me I needed Sage not Cumin. He was replaced though by the 70 year old check out lady with bad cleavage, a well worn in frown, and a disposition that makes the soup nazi seem like 13 year old cheer leader. Even when she looked over at Finn sleeping in his car seat with his space boy hat and hand against his forehead there was no reaction.

KR: Yeah and then what did she say when I asked her if she was working all day? Something about not having any family, how she doesn’t matter to anyone anyway?

JR: No I think she said she would be better off if she didn’t have any family, like they are all hooligan ne’er do wells.

KR: Oh, ok well that seems a little less sad, so we’ll go with that. Anyway. She was depressing and you said how whoever the shift manager was should maybe switch her out of the check out line before we have a grinch thanksgiving situation. That Wal-Mart really was smack dab in the middle of that sketchy part of Raymond and Keystone. It showed too. The girl with the skanky tank top and butt-tight jeans walking in when it was about 4 degrees out and the ISUZU truck with the gun shot holes rusted into polkadots parked in that blue diagonal space that isn’t a spot next to the handicap spots at the wrong angle from the rest of the parking spots. You were a little yuppy in your tweed coat and brown glasses.

JR: I was just trying to class up the place a little, bring a little west coast style to the Heartland.

KR: What’s that noise, Did you just let Molly in?

JR: Yeah I let her in.

KR: So that’s not Finn out of his crib walking around?

JR: Could be the mice playing checker.

KR: Go check on Finn anyway, just to make sure he’s OK.

JR: I’ll make the stuffing and get the turkey ready, you make the bread, the pumkin pie, the potatoes (sweet and mashed), and the green beans. That sounds like a fair division of labor.

KR: Is this where you insert some horribly offensive and categorically untrue comment about women and their responsibilities in the kitchen?

JR: Hey honey, if the apron fits!

KR: How did I seriously end up with you? I had such great feminist potential. So now we are mostly caught up to now. We put the turkey in the oven after calling your mom and getting the info on covering vs. not covering and basting (v. confusing) controversy. Judge for yourself but we put it in, breast up, covered in foil for the first hour and then basted every hour after that, uncovered. We’ll see how it works. What is this crap psycho techno music we are listening to? Not very thanksgiving-ey. Makes me want to poke my eye out while lurching awkwardly below strobe light-type flashing.

JR: Time to skip ahead, how about Nickel Creek “Long Time Coming”

KR: Better

JR: I don’t think I told you but my mom gave us some advice when I talked to her. She said not to get drunk and fight this time.

KR: When did we get drunk and fight?

JR: I think it was an autobiographical piece of advice more then anything.

KR: Oh Yeah your uncle Skeeter is not invited!

This is where the pace picked up and potatoes needed mashing and green beans flashing. conversations continued but where not recorded. TheWe had an amazing meal and a such a great weekend, it was the best Thanksgiving that either of us could remember having.