Write till you get it

Last night we had our first Home Group meeting for the New Deal Church gig that Kate and I are part of on Sunday nights. The group meets at the house of the super cool couple I have been talking about lately. I am no longer intimidated by them all but they are still super cool. We had a chat about Galatians 5 and what we want from this group and then watched Lost. All in all a great night after what has been a strange week for Kate and I.

I have found myself running out of patience fast with customers on the phone. I know this comes as a huge surprise to Jesse and any other Softshare OG but it’s true. As soon as a customer gets snotty with me I give it right back and then feel like a tool when I hang up the phone. I was pretty tired after the SB trip and was sick for the week after. I am still feeling a little remnant of that but don’t tell Kate cause she thinks I’m faking to get out of house work. I think I have just had some defenses knocked down lately and I am not as able to pretend I am a nice guy, but now that I see that I will get some contemplative quiet time and work through that.

Kate has been having a rough go at it at work lately. She works at job she dislikes strongly, for people she does not respect, and in an industry that has not interest to her. A real tri-fecta of fun Monday through Friday. She is coming home grumpy and depressed and even after I threaten to give her something to cry about it still takes her a while to snap out of it.

We are incredibly happy and having a great time of life right now so this is in no way a complaining thing. It is funny really how what stories you decide to tell can mean the difference between perceived happiness and depression. I think that a big part of my feelings lately was seeing family and friends a bit ago. I am reminded of how much I love them and in turn just how much I miss them. I think that is it right there, I build up a tolerance to missing them that is destroyed when we meet again and I am left feeling it fresh again. I really miss my family right now and the line between friends and family is one that I can never seem to draw because they are so much the same person.

Well this has helped me quite a bit. I couldn’t put my finger on what I was feeling until I started typing and read what came out. Sorry for the lack of updates lately had I known this was going to happen I would of written much earlier, until later then.