The blond one had a tough day today with ear problems and some other issues that had him half crying half screaming for good portion of the morning. The red head being the sensitive little man that he is joined in the course with his own sympathy cry driving Beautiful to the brink. I came home early from work and took over so that could go to an appointment and try to reboot after a tough tough morning. The thing is though that the storm had been weathered. The kids I inherited were not the same ones that had driven Beautiful crazy. I think she was happy for the break but also secretly bummed that they were not as hard on me as they were on her. I got home in time to give them naps after dosing the blond one up with some medicine and then listening to music down in the basement. After naps the sun broke through and we got out and about returning books and movies. The Blond one wanted me to drop him off at the corner so he could play with his friends. The Red head and I stayed on porch and played. He tried to walk down the stairs again and again took a nice tumble. It was one twist and one flip, a 6.3 degree of difficulty and when he stuck the landing it was only the Russian judge that stood in his way of a perfect score. He cried for a minute and then just laid on my shoulder for another ten minutes while I made sure that he was still awake. He's got a nice purple bump on his head and a scratch on his ear. The next time he came to the stairs he turned around and backed his way down from about three feet out. I'm glad that he's learning a bit from all these falls. Hopefully he can get the lesson before he deforms his head so bad he won't be able to wear t-shirts cause he couldn't get them over his giant noggin. Hopefully the time away will help tomorrow for Beautiful.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
taking a crazy day
Monday, March 23, 2009
After their sleep but before mine
There are times when I go into the boy's room before going to bed myself and I am hit by something powerful. I well up with tears and I love them fiercely. or maybe it is joy, or maybe it is something else entirely. I am not sure what it is exactly but it is powerful and it has a an intense effect on me. I pull Henry's cover back over him, the one that he is in now laying on after going to bed with it on him. I am not sure the process of going from awake to sleep for Henry but it involves going from his back with the blanket on him to laying on his stomach with the blanket scrunched bellow him like a sky blue body pillow. When I see his face the feeling hits me and I want to live in that moment but I think I would explode. It is too intense to inhabit and so it passes quickly leaving me near tears and full. It is all I can do to not pick him up, wake him, and hold him tight. I have to will myself to move slowly and controlled pulling his blanket out to cover him again. Then I go over to Finn in his toddler bed and kneel down with my head on his pillow. I tell him important things and smell his hair. I want to crawl in bed with him but I am too big and I have my own bed to get to. These boys have no idea the effect they have on me, even sleeping, especially sleeping. I know I will embarrass them when they are older trying to tell them how amazing it was for me to watch them sleep. They will think I am crazy and they will be right in a way. It really is crazy how much I love those boys. I am consumed with love for them, it is intoxicating and probably the best part of my day is going into their room when they are sleeping. It is crazy, but I don't care. I'm OK with being crazy.
