happy birthday henry ellis

Henry turned two this weekend and you missed it. Well maybe you didn't miss it but I did. He was spending the weekend with Grandma and Papa while Mommy and Daddy got there drink on and watched the Lakers kick the ______ out of the local, lovable Blazers. Not sure if this will stick with him but it is good that he learns early what basketball means to daddy. I mean the kid will be two for a whole year but seeing this game is once a year chance. That is all a load of crap cause we had to leave right from the game to go see Henry on his birthday. We left at about 9:30 to make the hour drive, get the little man out of his bead and snuggle with him. We brought him to bed with us and paid for missing the party by having him kick us in the back all night long. Payback feels like a ball pin hammer to the lower back but it was great to have him close. Happy birthday Henry, you are super cute and have a terrible scream that you rely on way to much and I love you madly.

rain beats lakers

I am not sure the Lakers have ever won a game in the city that I am living in, while I live there. I went to two Laker games in Indiana where the Lakers got rolled by terrible Pacer teams and now in the time I lived in Portland the Lakers look terrible when ever they come here. I don't know if it's the rain, if it's the manic fans, or if there is some sort of curse but it's getting old. How can this team dominate the rest of the league and not win in Portland? I'm hoping that when I read The Book of Basketball by Bill Simmons as soon as Kyle sends it to me I will learn the answer. I'm sure in that 700 page monstrosity there has to be something on the Lakers atrocious showing in the Rose City

it's fantastic!

It turns out the NBA finals and my boys are engaged in an epic battle for my attention and while I love Finn and Henry like they were my own kids the Lakers are involved in these Finals. The Lakers! It all started easy enough with my watching the first quarter in the basement. Henry was asleep and Finn went with Beautiful to the store. I even got some time with my dad as we endured a truly terrible first period. My dad had to get on the road so he left and I went upstairs to wake Jesse and watch the second quarter with him. Finn came home a ball of energy but was mostly placated with trucks and trips downstairs to find more toys. At Halftime we paused the game and enjoyed some tasty home made nachos. The third quarter found the boys getting baths and me settling in for the meat of the game. Finn came up first naked as jay bird and most likely on speed. He was bouncing around the room and climbing all over me. He disappeared for a minute and then came back up with Lakers jersey on, but no Chonies yet. A fact he made clear to Uncle Mark over iChat by flashing him. The fourth quarter found Henry up there with us, naked as well. Who's in charge of getting these kids some clothes? It is a nail biter down the end and with 1:40 left and the score tied at 84 it gets fun.

• 1:32 Rashard Lewis nails a jumper to put ORL up 86-84. At the same moment Jesse find what he believes to be poop on the couch. After a quick look it is indeed poop care of Henry and naked bottom.
• I grab Henry and run downstairs to get him clean and to get a freaking diaper on the poop machine while he screams at contorts his body to fight the shackles of diapers. I miss Kobe hitting an 11 footer to tie and Hedo taking the lead again on a long two pointer.
• I run down to the basement to see if we have upholstery cleaner and nearly miss slipping on more poop on the stairs. There are little deposits on three straight stairs. Apparently he had the crawling poops or he left himself a trail in a twisted take on Handsel and Gretel. Either way I missed a Gasol layup with 33 seconds left to tie the game. I heard it as I was cleaning the stairs.
• Heading back up from the basement I throw away my napkins of treats and Beautiful puts a still angry Henry down for bed.
  
• I run upstairs to get Naked son number two while Courtney Lee misses a layup with 10 seconds left. Lakers Ball 10 seconds to go, Time Out. It's about time I catch a break!
• I get Finn down in the basement, mostly because I want Jesse to enjoy the game even if I can't and partly because I can't look him in the eye after my son grew a tail on his couch. They just don't make a Hallmark card for that situation.
• In the basement we get Finn clothed and watch Kobe get blocked from behind on the would be game winner by an all of sudden good defender in Hedo. Sitting on the edge of the table roughly 4 inches from the TV I watch in horror as Hedo lofts a great pass to a wide open Lee for a layup that some how does not go in. Thank you rookie!
• Overtime starts with pleas from Finn to play trucks with him. Not gonna happen little man but you can come here and watch basketball with me. He declines. Kobe turns the ball over for the seventh time and I jump up and explain to the TV my displeasure. Finn looks confused and tells me that it hurts his ears when I do that. I tell him that it hurts my eyes when Kobe does that.
• The Lakers play well in OT and with huge games from Odom and Gasol hold on for a 2-0 lead in these Finals. I put Finn down to bed with a kiss and a long hug and resettle Henry who is no longer unhappy but not yet asleep. They are good boys and I love them deeply. But we might need to get them little Hannibal Lecter masks for game 3.
  

daddy I'm tired of mommy

I was watching the Laker game illegally on my computer because we don't have cable, the game is on cable, and it's the Western Conference Finals for crying out loud. Finn was in and out trying to get me to play trucks with him like he didn't know the rules. What are the rules Finn? "No trucks with daddy when the Lakers are on." Good boy, now get out of here before Bynum misses another opportunity and comes soft on the weak side help and daddy has to use some swears to keep from throwing something. For the most part I was left to watch the game on my own, chatting here and there with Mark and Kyle but they were a bit behind and mostly ignoring me. At Halftime Finn came down again unable to find Mommy. I sent him back upstairs to look again but he was soon back again. I asked him if he wanted me to help him look and he did. As we were walking upstairs he told me he was mad at mommy. "I am mad at mommy" Why are you mad at mommy little man? "I am mad at her because I can't find her. I'm tired of mommy daddy" Your tired of her? "Yeah I am tired of mommy, where is she anyway" We went up to the second floor and there she was watching Idol. Finn wasn't mad at her any more but I think he was a little tired of her still.

We have Lakers in HD

Since Fox Sport West is the closet regional sport stations we have Lakers and Clippers in HD. It is a magical thing to turn on the TV and see the Lakers playing. Hearing Stu bemoan the lack of ball movement is music to my ears. Jake is pretty excited about it too, that little guy just loves him some Lakers!

5 days till joy

The playoffs started this weekend and I celebrated by watching the Lakers dunk their way to victory over Denver by myself. Henry sat with me for a while and Finn came for the end but mostly it was just me saying inappropriate things to the TV and frustratingly getting Mark and Kyle's voice mail. They're both rich and can afford to watch the game when ever the damn well please so they weren't answering my call fearing I would give away something. They've been rich for a while though so I know the situation. I was laughing at the choice to guard Kobe with K-Mart and Eduardo and wanted to talk to someone about it. Kate says that basketball is the one area in my life where I am a complete extrovert. I need others to watch and talk with and I think that's true. I miss those guys the most when the Lakers are on TV. This weekend we are going to AZ to see family and friends and there will be two games on TV. I think I am more excited to watch those games with Mark and Kyle then I am about really seeing them. I mean I am excited to see them but it peaks with the opportunity to sit and yell at the TV together. To be total homers and complain about calls and non calls, make jokes about when exactly when George Karl starts drinking during the game, silly stuff that Kate rolls her eyes at when I watch a game with her. So I am counting the days until we leave, 3, but more importantly I am also counting the days until we watch some ball together 5!

Married Vs. Dating

On our way home from a very nice holiday party the subject of Football came up. We are in the heat of the playoffs and I lamented the fact that my Raiders were no longer prominently involved. Lately when I bring up the Raiders, and it’s not that often, Kate tells me she doesn’t believe me. She doesn’t believe I am a fan of the Raiders or even of Football in general. How dare she! She must have had too much to drink at the party, why am I letting her drive in this condition? I asked her to pull over right away so I could issue a sobriety test, but she called me an idiot and reminded me that she is 8 months pregnant and hasn’t even had a sip tonight. I thought it would pass but Kate fells strongly about this subject. She said I just like saying I’m a Raiders fan for the reaction. She said I care more about story then games and being a Raider Fan is just a convenient vehicle for telling stories. She is really making me angry at this point but she is far from done. She said there is no question I love the Lakers or the Dodgers because I talk about them a lot. She repeated a lot while making an exaggerated head nod for dramatic effect. The only time she hears me talk about the Raiders is when other people ask if I’m a fan of the Colts. I still think she is drunk at this point but it can also just be the rampant hormones in her body from the pregnancy, either way she is out of her mind. She is wading into dangerous water and I am not sure she can see the shore anymore. She badgered me to admit she was right, but I will never do it. She is dead wrong. Hitting her stride she offered as evidence the Kobe trade talks with the Lakers against the Randy Moss draft day trade. Kobe didn’t even get traded and I talked about it every day for two months. She only heard that Moss was a Raider from an NFL broadcast. Please, you can’t compare Kobe to Moss, that is just crazy. She said I am married to the Lakers, I am married to the Dodgers, but I am a best friends with the Raiders. She said I’m not even dating them, I’m not even best friends with them, they are just people that I know and might have grown up with but their not in my fantasy league or anything. They weren’t invited to my wedding, hell their not even friends on Facebook. Though it’s 11 at night she demands that I give her my phone so she can call Kyle. He will agree with her. I wouldn’t give her the phone, Kyle would never agree with her and besides it midnight in Arizona. Even if he did what does that prove, no he wouldn’t agree. Kyle may hate football but he wouldn’t question my fanhood. Would he? HE DID! Kate chatted with him the next day on gmail and that Judas took her side! Et tu Sezo? He said Mark is married to the Raiders, but James is just friends. Can they be right? They can’t be right, I mean the Raiders and I have had some good times. Sure we have had some fights over money and the chores but who hasn’t? We may not be in love anymore but I made a commitment when I was 12 and 18 bad years can't erase the 3 good ones!

Zen and the art of Child Rearing

It’s the middle of the third quarter and the Lakers 4 point lead has turned into a 9 point deficit in the last 3 minutes. Smush is bringing the ball up looking to the sideline to see if Coach Phil Jackson is going to call time out. This seems like a dumb move since I know he’s not going to call it, the other team knows he’s not going to call it, hell the cheerleaders preening on the sideline know he’s not going to call it. Phil doesn’t call time outs in that situation because he wants the guys on the floor to work it out themselves. He has been like that through all 9 championships, 4 books, and countless wins so he might be on to something.

As I’m yelling at Smush through my computer screen Finn is screaming in the other room. It is close to midnight and Finn has been having a rough go at it this evening. I have been in and out of his room most of the night and he calms down for a couple of minutes but then winds back up. Kobe kicks the ball out to Odom for a jumper and 2 points and then the Lakers steal the ball and score again. They are working it out themselves just like Phil knew they would and I think I need a little more Zen in my child care. Finn needs to learn to work things out himself as well. I don’t need to call a time out right now and go soothe him, this is an opportunity for him to expand and learn how to soothe himself. So I watch the game and tell Kate it’s OK, let him work it out when she wakes up and starts to go to Finn.

After about 45 minutes of Finn failing to work it out himself Kate finally gets up, gives Finn his bottle and puts him back to sleep where he sleeps soundly through the night. In the morning Kate asked me why I let him cry so long and I told her about the Lakers, about Phil Jackson and his Zen coching style. I told her I was letting him work it out, not calling a time out, giving Finn the opportunity to see he had it in him all along. Kate rolled her eyes at me saying rather patronizingly “So your taking your parenting cues from a basketball coach now?” Then kissed me on my forhead and said “You’re an idiot honey.” As she headed off to bathroom I knew she was right. Then I thought: I wonder how John Wooden would have handled the situation.

The All-Star Cure

When ever Grandma Kris takes Finn for the day I find myself in a funk. I don't realize it at first but I start to slowly get bluer and bluer until I'm in a full fledged depression. When Kate asks my what's wrong I say "nothing". It's not true but I am not trying to be uncommunicative, I just haven't realized that anything is wrong. Kate has realized and when she keeps pushing it I get frustrated. This whole scene played out this past week as Finn spent Wednesday night through Friday evening with Grandma and TomTom. While Finn was gone I did very little with my free time. I read a bit, did some work for the paper, caught up on all things NBA, and laid around a lot. With Finn gone I am not sure what I'm doing home. If he is here then I am taking care of him, but when he's gone I am just lazy. When I was working and I had a day off I didn't feel this way but some how being a stay-at-home parent changes my perception as it does for society as a whole. The hardest thing to reconcile is that whether Finn is there or not my JOB is taking care of him. When Kate is off work she is not unemployed, and converesly when Finn is away I am not unemployed either. This seems like a simple concept to grasp but it is proving to be much more difficult for me.

Kate and I had a long talk last night getting to the bottom of this and other things. During that time I realized that there was something wrong with me when Kate was asking but I couldn't pin point it at the time. I also realized that I need to have a plan for when Finn is away, and I need to make that plan before he leaves or else I will find myself slipping back into no-Finn funk. Most importantly, to Kate anyway, I need to communicate what's going on even if I'm not sure what it is yet. When I'm depressed Kate assumes that it has to do with her and my refusal to communicate just confirms that diagnosis for her. So to recap: come to terms with my new Job, plan for Finn's absences, and communicate more.

But what does any of this have to do with the title? On Thursday night I got the chance to play in a basketball tournament at Church. I played on the Fountain Square Team and was the only one on the team that actually played basketball. We were severely spanked in the game but had a lot of fun in the process. Due to some lucky shooting in the first half we were only down by 9 points at halftime. The deficit quickly climbed to 30 early in the second half and hovered there for the rest of the game. After the game each team picked an all-star from the opposing team to play in the Sunday All-star game. I was picked from our team. One of the teams in the next game was short players and so I played for them as well and continued to shot really well. After that game I was chosen again by the other team. It felt really good to be an All-Star, to be chosen by the opposing team. It was a small tournament with over half the participents playing their first ball in over 10 years but it felt good to do well.

On sunday I played in the all-star game and did well. I wasn't the best out there but I competed and when it was over I didn't feel depressed any more. I felt good, I felt successful. I know it is silly but that basketball game was what I needed to break out of the funk. Once out of it I could talk for a long time about the hows, whys, and whats of it with Kate.

Something stinks in Indy

For the second year in a row I watched the Lakers come into Indy, play lackluster basketball and leave with another loss. And for the second year in a row I watched Kobe have a horrendous game. Now I know that one game does not a season make but I get one chance a year to watch my team play and it is becoming an annual craptastic display of futility. Last year on the way to the game Kate fell down right on her pregnant belly, we got to our seats late, and the Lakers lost by 20. This year Finn and I were early and Kate met us at our seats up in the nose bleeds. Finn loved the pregame intros and would bounce with joy at each explosion that went off for the Indy players.

The first quarter was typical Laker stuff with Kobe spreading the ball and guys open jump shots. Odom finally took it to the hole 5 minutes in, I think he heard me up in section 210 telling him to grow a pair and attack the basket. On defense the Lakers could do nothing with Jermaine O'Neal. He was getting great post position and handing the teenage sensation his lunch. Early in the first it was J.O. 11 Lakers 5. Things settled in and the Pacer lead stayed at 5 for most of the first half while Kobe started his house brick by brick. Side Note: There is no such thing as a Kobe stopper as Nanny man has proved time and time again, but there are guys that play Kobe tough: Kirelenko, Bowen, Igudola, Prince. Really if Kobe is on his game he can't be guarded by one or even two players. That being said the young Danny Granger has been involved in 4 crappy Kobe games in two years. That is all of the Pacer-Laker games in the last two years by the way. One crappy game is an off night for Kobe, two crappy games is the Lakers not knowing enough about a Leastern Conference team that they only play twice, three crappy games and you start to think maybe Granger is a good defender, four crappy games and the term Kobe Stopper needs to be looked at. As soon as it is Kobe will go for 60 on him and end it but until then let the talk start to heat up. I will be at the game again next year and for the weeks leading up to it I am going to be posting on every Laker forum out there that Danny Granger owns Kobe. Kobe can't score on him. Granger is kryptonite and it would be better to just start Mo Evans at the 2 and let Kobe play point for the scrubs cause that is what he is reduced to around Granger. Don't like it Kobe, then do something!

The Lakers went up with a great close the the Third Quarter but then came out in the fourth and really sucked it up. It was tough to watch but still nice to be at the game. I love basketball and I love going to the games and watching stuff like Smush and Shammond Williams dancing to one of the songs over the P.A. while P.J. is yelling at Bynum. I love watching Granger with his head down and hand over his heart, still moved by the National Anthem like this isn't the thousandth time he has heard this song. I loved watching the Fans give it to Kobe for choking again in Indy and the Kobe pretending to sign the ball and throw it to the guys.

Other Random Notes: Vlad Rad played with a lot more energy then I have seen from him. He looked like a Rookie WNBA player instead of the 10 year Veteran WNBA player he has looked like in the recent past. The Lakers miss Luke Walton I think more then they even missed Odom or Kobe when he is out. Luke just makes things happen and facilities so nicely. Nice seeing Shammond Williams get some tick, though he was in there for less then two minutes. J.O. reminded me off Rasheed Wallace back in the day when he played for Portland and the Lakers could not stop him down low to save their lives, yet he some how thinks that he is a jump shooter and creeps farther and farther from the basket and the Lakers get back into the game. I used to Love that about Portland!

Well that's enough on that game, not sure that anyone besides Kyle cares as much about this as I do and he doesn't read this anymore. Hey Lakers, thanks for taking a dump in Indy for the second year in a row!