Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Bathroom Etiquette?


I need a ruling on a bathroom situation I ran into the other day. (feel free to click on the image to make it bigger if you need to) A and B are stalls, C and D are urinals with C being full sized and D being for people like Kyle. Here’s the situation: When I came into the bathroom there was someone in stall B but A, C, and D were open. I only needed to go numero uno so it was a choice between C and D. The thing is, the dude in B was taking a wide stance and it felt to me like he was pulling a Larry Craig. I don’t like using D when I can avoid it because I feel like it is too low and leads to sprayage. What is the right move in this case? Do I use the man size urinal roaming feet be damned or do I use the peewee weewee and risk backsplash?

9 comments:

JR said...

I used D by the way but I din't feel good about it.

Kyle said...

You have a few options open to you. First off I think your best option is to enter, make some loud coughing noises then exit. Wait a minute and see if he exists, if not repeat a few times getting louder each time. He'll get the idea. Or you can take stall A do a sideways mount facing aways from Larry and make sure you do no foot tapping of any kind. Or you take urinal D and remain vigilant on your spray angle and limit the force to insure you get a nice backwash off the wall and no backspray. As a last resort you can lock the door and piss in the sink.

Kyle said...

By the way, I've done all those things.

Anonymous said...

That's a tough choice, but I'm with you, I would've chosen D as well.

Here's a bonus scenario:

Q. What happens if you need to go numero dos and one of the stalls is taken up?

A. Always walk away and come back at a later time.

Thanks for giving me a good chuckle...-J

Sparky said...

use D and as Kyle said limit the pressure and mind the angle. I would rather spry myself a bit then mist another mans shoes. Place yourself in his errr shoes. You are giving one the what for, had a lot of dairy the night before, and someone comes to the urinal next to you only to yellow wash your new chucks, not cool.

Sparky said...

or if at work just tell the man "hey move your foot so i dont piss on it." that might work too, just cut the crap and get straight to the point

Kyle said...

I gotta say I'd avoid "cutting the crap" as sparky recommends. That can lead to some serious chonage staining not to mention the associated health problems. Also Josh Dailey can tell what literally cutting the crap can lead to...a whole lot of bad.

Ben said...

Larry has blatantly violated the rules of men's room non-engagement & fully deserves a swift kick in the toes as you take your rightful place at C.

Troyf said...

Urinal C is preferable in this case. The key is to unzip and immediately fire off a warning shot wide left. Not too much, but enough so that Stall B is aware that you intend to hold your ground at C. This should ensure the foot does not encroach.