The fall air

I'm not going to lie to you yesterday was a tough day for me. I was pouty and overwhelmed by not getting a job yet after being here for over a month. These things take time I know but time has passed, we have experienced time, now I want these things to happen. Well anyway that is how I felt yesterday, today I feel better and OK with the time issue. I guess there are going to be tough days and hopeful days in any situations you face, but feeling responsible for Kate, Finn, and baby to be named later makes tough days really heavy.

Today we are cruisin around Longview checking out garage sales with a sleeping baby in the back. My dad found a free crib on Craigslist that we picked up just before someone else showed up to get it. Nothing like a little competition to get the blood going. It is a great cold and misty fall day with leaves blowing in the wind and scarfs wrapped tightly around necks. For some reason fall has hope in the air, it was fall three years ago when we got married and went to Vermont for our honeymoon. That was a real hopeful time.

Some bad news and some other news

I got an email yesterday from a company that I had three interviews with that told me they were going in another direction. I thought that I had the job and was really disappointed when I found out I didn't. I'm kinda down after that but I kept at the resumes and contacts to find some more opportunities. I am not sure where the job is going to come from but I really wish it would happen soon.

We finally got our car back from the shop after another two broken bolts and cracked pulley. We went in Tuesday to get it and waited around for two hours while the mechanics tried to finish up. The broke the pulley at 8 PM and the 12 year old yelled out a string of swears that would make a sailor blush. They got it figured out and we picked the car up late Wednesday night. Not having a car for the last couple of days and not getting a job I was hopeful about have left me a little less hopeful but today we went into Portland and my son fell asleep in the car with his fist balled up and his little feet crossed and I didn't feel so bad anymore.

Lazy Tuesday

While waiting for our car to be fixed and word from some promising interviews Finn and I had nap is Stumptown.

A Sunday at Sears

The rain is here and with it comes a little misfortune. Yesterday started nice enough with both Kate and sleeping in to unheard of times with a little one in the house. I got up first and got right into a football game, gotta love the West coast and the 10 AM start times, and Kate got up an hour later. We had some breakfast and after Finn woke up from his morning nap we headed out to Longview to get a birthday present for Finn's cousin Ethan.

Longview is where you go to get things like that and when you go to purchase it they ask you if your from Oregon or Washington because in Oregon there isn't a sales tax. Unfortunately our Indiana ID means we are paying the tax. Anyway as we are pulling into the parking lot of Target there is a great whistling noise under our hood then no more whistling and all the idiot lights come on in the dashboard. I looked under the hood and saw that one of the belts was loose, it was really broken but I didn't know that yet. We called my dad to find a place to take in the car at 1 PM on Sunday and Sears was our answer. It was on the other side of the mall we were already at so after getting the birthday present we drove the car over to the shop.

Trevor the 18 year old mechanic on duty took a look and saw that the belt was broken and said it would be an easy enough fix. He went to pick up a new belt from the auto parts store, stopped off a Mcy D's for a late lunch and came back to set about putting the new belt on. We sat in the Sears waiting room, Finn pushing his new car around the floor and telling everyone that came by that he in fact had a "Caaaahhhhhwwwww" in a voice much deeper and louder then you would expect from a arian baby of his size. Kate looked around at the sales and I read a month old NewsWeek magazine keeping an eye on Finn. Trevor, the 17 year old mechanic, came in to say that a bolt head broke off while he was trying to loosen it so he would need to bore the bolt out and it will take a little longer.

Kate was back from her shopping boasting of 90% off sale price finds that might not fit now but will be great after the baby and I asked her if she was hungry. At that Finn looks up from his caaahhhwww and starts pointing at his mouth. For emphasis he removes his plug and adds a grunting noise to the mix. Off we went to the food court for some over priced mall treats thinking that we would get a call any minute telling us the car was done. After an hour long lunch break we went back to Sears to hear that the bolt was out, the belt was on, and there was just some tightening to do.

Trevor, our 16 year old mechanic told us the car was ready and the news came none too soon. Finn was exploring the space with is high pitched scream and both Kate and I were tired of carrying him around. As a side note there should be a stroller in the trunk of the car always, always, always. We loaded up into the car and started it up to a screaching sound as smoke poured out from under the hood. Now my one semester of Auto in high school tells me that the smoke is clearly supposed to stay under the hood and if it comes out something is wrong. We popped the hood and sat and waited as Trevor, our 15 year old mechanic, tinkered away.

After about 30 minutes he told us we needed a new bolt because the one he used to replace the broken one was not holding. He was off to Home Depot to get a new bolt and we finally called Bing to come get Kate and Finn. It has now been 5 hours at the mall and Finn is getting delirious. I sat back down with my old Newsweek and did some more waiting while Trevor worked away. he got the new bolt, tightened everything up but found that the Power Steering belt was loose and would need to be replaced. That's fine I will do that myself on Monday just let me go home. I got back int he car, started it up to the terrible screeching and massive smoke coming out and then shut it down again. When we opened the hood the new belt had shredded and the Alternator had seized. The car was not going anywhere tonight and Trevor, our 14 year old mechanic, was near tears.

We pushed the car into the garage and they shut everything up now two hours after their regular closing time. I called my dad to come and get me as I waited out in the cold wet night shivering with my light sweater. A $20 belt has balloned into $200 alternator and the labor has gone way up. We should have just stayed home and given Ethan my iPod for the money that we will end up paying. The truth is the alternator was the problem from the get go but it just wasn't checked. My dad says a more seasoned mechanic would have looked at that right away and saved us the time of sitting around Sears all Sunday afternoon but Trevor was only 12 so he didn't know enough to check it.

It was a frustrating day but also really funny and great at the same time. Kate and I had a great time with eachother and Finn is fantastic in situations like that. He screeched some times but for not getting a nap, being hungry, not being home, and having to stay close to us all the time he was a champ. Shit happens as Forest Gump has taught us and it doesn't just happen when we're ready. Even with a broken laptop, a broken car, no job, no house of our own, and cold gray rain of the Northwest we are happy and hopeful.

One Two Three Walk with me

Finn is now doing a little walking on his own.

Meeting the Neighbors

When we left the house today to run some errands we passed these two looking get connected back with two of their friends that had already crossed the road. We didn't see too many deer in FSQ. Today we looked at a couple of rental houses in the South East Neighborhood of Hawthorne and the North East Neighborhood of Mississippi with Jesse and Carly. It was great to see what was out there and what things cost it was hard not being able to snatch up any of those places. There needs to be a job before we can get an idea of what we can pay for rent so today was more research then anything else. No word on any jobs today other then some one calling me to tell me I not qualified for a job they were going to submit me for. Thanks for that.

Mayger Generations

Today we went to Mayger beach to play in the water a little bit on what is supposed to be the last nice day for a bit. There is rain in the forecast for the next week so after Finn woke up from his nap we headed out. Mayger beach is a spot on the Columbia between Clatskanie and Rainer and has been hot spot for Rohl R&R for the last 50+ years. My dad grew up swimming there, my brother and I lived there for a couple of summers in my grandparents make shift shack attached to there travel trailer. There used to be a dock there that was a thriving bar/restaurant with the neighborhood post office when my dad was a kid, hollowed out and a storage place for gill nets when I was a kid, and is now gone. You can see some remains behind Finn and I in the picture. With or without the docks though the real fun is in playing in the mud, digging up clams, and watching ships heading up the river to Portland and Finn enjoyed all three of those events today.

Catching up

I am sorry for the gapes in posting here it is tough not having my computer up and running at all times. I have more messages in my Google reader then I know what to do with and my fantasy baseball team has gone the way of the Dodgers in this end of the season flurry. Kate and Finn are now here and doing well. Finn has slept in 4 different places in the last couple of weeks and he is adapting quite well. He sleeps through the night and seems happy and well adjusted. He takes a lot of step but doesn't walk and he makes a lot of noise but doesn't talk. He is thriving but in ways that aren't measured in the questions over coffee at the local cafe. Kate is doing well with the pregnancy and feeling kicks and movement in her ever growing belly. For the last couple of days we have had some visitors from Santa Barbara that are doing a fact finding vacation in the Northwest to see if this could be a place for them someday. I think it could but I also think they are miles away from a decision so I won't be making dinner plans with them anytime soon. Finn has had a couple chances to play with his cousins and he seems to love it. They are bigger then him and like to wrestle but he joins in and smacks the face of whoever is on the ground. Finn is a mercenary really with no strong allegiances to any one side. It has been beautiful here with warm sunny days and cool crisp fall nights. The rumbling of future rains are getting louder on the 5 o'clock news so I think we will be properly introduced to the typical Northwest weather soon enough.

As for the job searching it is moving along. I have resumes out to every corner of the greater Portland Metro area and have had a couple of interviews and thanks, but no thanks letters. I recently had a second interview with a company that would be great and it sounds like it is down to me and one other person. I have also hooked up with a recruiter that has helped me refine my resume and has recently forwarded on a great job opportunity with a small software company that sounds great. There are positive vibes a plenty but no offers yet, I have turned down 3 interviews because the money wasn't right as well. I am upbeat and positive and full of hope and promise. My Aunt Dee Dee called yesterday just because Kate and I were on her heart and prayed with me over the phone and it really helped fortify my faith. Well that is what is news worthy lately and I will get more updates up here soon, thanks for your thoughts and prayers for Kate and I, and thanks for keeping up with us.

She was delayed but she is coming

After a two and a half hour delay in Houston Kate and Finn are on their way here. As you can see they are above Colorado right now as I am writing this, but probably not as your reading. I am very very excited to have them back and couldn't sleep last night in anticipation. I headed to Portland a bit early this evening so I am sitting in a great coffee house on SE Stark and 79th in North East Portland. There are 10 other people on computers so the connection is not that great but the vibe can't be beat. Tomorrow Kate and I are going up to Seattle to see the king of all small businesses and that's kinda cool too. Just not as cool as my beautiful and my baby coming.

Friday Night Lights to Sunday night lows

This past Friday night I went to the local high school football game with my dad. It was really great being in the crowd watching the people who loved the game and the great majority who were just there because everyone else was. It was small town football at it's best and the home team dominated from opening kick off to the final ear drum shattering horn. I was told how great my dad was when he played ball for the Tigers and chastised for not having enough spirit by the biggest fan there Calvin. We walked over to the game, through the woods, down the hill and into the field that wasn't there when my dad played. His games were in the park in the middle of town. There are about as many people in the town of Clatskanie as went to my high school so things were on a much smaller scale but the same Friday night Football dynamics endure just as strong in the northwest as they do in Southern California. The little kids are playing in the grass behind the goal posts, the middle schoolers are watching the high schoolers and the high schoolers are fighting the mostly losing battle to be cool. The game was not good, but since the hated rivals Rainer blew out this team Clatskanie was obligated to do the same and they obliged.

Saturday morning I went to breakfast and then a short garage sale seesion with my lovely cousin Crystal and then parked my self in front of the TV for a long day of college football. Having a TV that gets those extra channels and being back in the Pacific time zone allowed me to watch the 9 AM ESPN game all the way through to the Hawaii game that ended around 11 PM. There was a lot of great football in there and one terrible car wreck of a game. My parents worked feverishly all day to get the house ready for Kate and Finn while I pinned for them in front of the TV with a bag of chips and a fantastic channel that should all the games in tiny little screens so you could flip around at will. We all have our own way of preparing!

I would like to say that I got more done on Sunday but really how could I with all those pro games on. I had to watch the Indy game so I could text Nathan, something I am afraid is going to be a tradition for me for years to come. Then the Raiders came on and it's been years since I have seen them play. The Raiders didn't disappoint either snatching defeat from the claws of victory in typical Raider fashion. I did get a bunch done to get Finn's room set up and all of Kate's clothes up in the closet so it wasn't all vegging. It has been a great weekend of football watching at almost every level but it really isn't the treat that it once was for me. I would have traded all those games, well maybe not the high school game, for a chance to be in the Aalsma's backyard with all of these beautiful people.

It's not allowed

Did you know that in Oregon your not allowed to pump your own gas. I guess you can also say you don't have to but I choose to see it as not being allowed to. It's literally against the law to pump your own gas. The same is true for New Jersey but no where else in the entire U.S. I have included a graphic for those of you who can't picture the rest of the U.S. without a little help. It is really hard to get used to pulling up to the filling station and waiting for someone to come up to me so I can tell them what I need and give them my card to pay for it. The pumps still have the card reader on each of them so I can easily get out and start the process for them but if I do I can be arrested! Well maybe not arrested but at least a stern talking to. When they are done and give my the receipt I feel like I should tip them but nobody does. I haven't tipped anyone yet and from what I have read it is not part of the deal, written or unwritten. I do slap them on the bottom and tell them good work though so they know how grateful I am.

Jobs and the longing

The job search is going, though I am not sure how it is going. I mean until you have a job it really isn't going that well is it? There seems to be some interest in my silly list of accomplishments but not enough for an interview or job offer. I have started to hear from companies in Portland instead of Indy, Waco, and Phoenix so that is plus. My spirits are still high because I know that this is a process that will take some time. I'm trying not to think about my wife at her appointment, 18 weeks along and all is well, wondering where and when we will find a Dr. here. Trying not to worry about where we will live and if Finn will be OK until we get insurance again. That stuff is out of my control for right now so it is relegated to back burner concerns. I miss my wife and boy terribly. It is first thing in the morning when I feel it most. That time in the morning where you first wake up but don't need to get up yet. When I would find Kate in the sea of covers and curl up to her and wait for Finn to wake up. If I was lucky I would be pulled into sleep with her hair in my face and my arm around her. That's the way it feels, like being pulled into, falling almost and I miss that. I wake up now and reach out to find her, for a second forgetting that she isn't there, and longing is heavy on my chest and I catch my breath.

Waiting for it while writing

I am in Santa Barbara for the weekend so I can attend my friends' wedding. Both the bride and the groom are my friends so I put the little mark at the end. That isn't right is it? Irregardless I did it and I used a word I have no idea what it's meaning is. My wife has never been less attracted to me then when reading this post. Anyway it is nice being here, I will always love Santa Barbara and the people. I am staying with Jesse and Carly in their great place and at dinner tonight I ran into a couple of old friends that themselves were just back in SB after a year in Taiwan. That is part of the beauty of this place much like Indy in that I often run into someone I know and haven't seen for years. Tomorrow is a busy day that includes a harbor cruise so I must get to sleep. I don't really have much to say lately but want to write so I do. I think that soon I will be able to get at something that I want to say just by taking the time to get back int he habit of writing. That may or may not be true but I think I'll just play it out to see. In the mean time enjoy Finn getting super pumped about getting a balloon.

Wapping it

I am getting to know some of the finer Wireless access points in the greater Clatskanie area. A town that boasts a population of 1850 has a good number of open networks to attach to. Today I am in Flotano's Pizza parlor checking email and sending out resumes en mass. Thank you Tonya and Carly for the encouragement today and great notes, I really appreciate your words and value them a lot because of who you both are. I thought I would put up a travel photo from the epic drive. Enjoy

From plans to reality

Writing this I am sitting in a coffee-tanning-ice cream place in Clatskanie, OR tweaking my resume and scouring the online job posting while trying not to think about how much I miss Kate, Finn, John, Tonya, Cosi, Carrie, ......... My brother Mark, and friend Jesse flew out to Indy to drive with me cross country to Oregon last week and we made the trip in 38 hours. We left Indy at 11 AM and made it to my parent's house at 10:30 PM the next day. It was an epic road trip that we dominated from start to finish. Three iPods full of music and a mix CD that encapsulated the mood of the trip perfectly, moving from excitement and hope to sadness searching and then back really helped the time go by. We had a rotation of 2-4 hours of driving with the other two taking the bulk of the midnight to sunrise driving time.

Now that Mark and Jesse are back home and I am left here to start the job search it's hard not to think back to what I have left behind. There are great pictures up on Flickr of Sunday night dinners and Labor Day beach outings that left tears on my keyboard. There was this line in a book I recently read where the woman was looking back at a time in her life where she was having some minor problems compared to the hell her life had become and she says "How were we supposed to know we were happy then?" There is a big part of me that fears we will do the same. This move to Portland seems like the right decision but I don't have any certainty to it, it very well could be the worse decision we have made and I would be lying if I said I didn't worry about that. Worry is no good here though, I am here, Kate and Finn are coming and so I look for a job. Then we look for a place to live. Then we look for all the other things we will need to make it in our new home.