It turns out the NBA finals and my boys are engaged in an epic battle for my attention and while I love Finn and Henry like they were my own kids the Lakers are involved in these Finals. The Lakers! It all started easy enough with my watching the first quarter in the basement. Henry was asleep and Finn went with Beautiful to the store. I even got some time with my dad as we endured a truly terrible first period. My dad had to get on the road so he left and I went upstairs to wake Jesse and watch the second quarter with him. Finn came home a ball of energy but was mostly placated with trucks and trips downstairs to find more toys. At Halftime we paused the game and enjoyed some tasty home made nachos. The third quarter found the boys getting baths and me settling in for the meat of the game. Finn came up first naked as jay bird and most likely on speed. He was bouncing around the room and climbing all over me. He disappeared for a minute and then came back up with Lakers jersey on, but no Chonies yet. A fact he made clear to Uncle Mark over iChat by flashing him. The fourth quarter found Henry up there with us, naked as well. Who's in charge of getting these kids some clothes? It is a nail biter down the end and with 1:40 left and the score tied at 84 it gets fun.
- 1:32 Rashard Lewis nails a jumper to put ORL up 86-84. At the same moment Jesse find what he believes to be poop on the couch. After a quick look it is indeed poop care of Henry and naked bottom.
- I grab Henry and run downstairs to get him clean and to get a freaking diaper on the poop machine while he screams at contorts his body to fight the shackles of diapers. I miss Kobe hitting an 11 footer to tie and Hedo taking the lead again on a long two pointer.
- I run down to the basement to see if we have upholstery cleaner and nearly miss slipping on more poop on the stairs. There are little deposits on three straight stairs. Apparently he had the crawling poops or he left himself a trail in a twisted take on Handsel and Gretel. Either way I missed a Gasol layup with 33 seconds left to tie the game. I heard it as I was cleaning the stairs.
- Heading back up from the basement I throw away my napkins of treats and Beautiful puts a still angry Henry down for bed.
- I run upstairs to get Naked son number two while Courtney Lee misses a layup with 10 seconds left. Lakers Ball 10 seconds to go, Time Out. It's about time I catch a break!
- I get Finn down in the basement, mostly because I want Jesse to enjoy the game even if I can't and partly because I can't look him in the eye after my son grew a tail on his couch. They just don't make a Hallmark card for that situation.
- In the basement we get Finn clothed and watch Kobe get blocked from behind on the would be game winner by an all of sudden good defender in Hedo. Sitting on the edge of the table roughly 4 inches from the TV I watch in horror as Hedo lofts a great pass to a wide open Lee for a layup that some how does not go in. Thank you rookie!
- Overtime starts with pleas from Finn to play trucks with him. Not gonna happen little man but you can come here and watch basketball with me. He declines. Kobe turns the ball over for the seventh time and I jump up and explain to the TV my displeasure. Finn looks confused and tells me that it hurts his ears when I do that. I tell him that it hurts my eyes when Kobe does that.
- The Lakers play well in OT and with huge games from Odom and Gasol hold on for a 2-0 lead in these Finals. I put Finn down to bed with a kiss and a long hug and resettle Henry who is no longer unhappy but not yet asleep. They are good boys and I love them deeply. But we might need to get them little Hannibal Lecter masks for game 3.