Tuesday, June 06, 2006

I've changed, my life is just a reflection

“Your life is going to change!” You here that over and over again as people find out that your having a baby. They all mean different things by it but usually don’t elaborate much. There comes a point where you get tired of hearing that phrase, not because you don’t believe it, but because it just seems so vague and charged at the same time. Well I have noticed a hundred different ways in which my life has changed already, and I agree with John when he says:

Before Cosette was born, I had way too many people tell me that a kid would change my world. I’m still not sure that’s true. Maybe I’ll think differently later, but right now I could really care less about the ways Cosette might restrict my freedom or time or energy. I don’t think my world has changed, but rather that Cosette has changed me.

I can see the changes in me in the way I drive. Coming home from the hospital was a slow steady operation in deliberate movements. But I think the biggest change was played out this morning as I set my alarm for 6 AM so I could have time with my boy in the morning before going to work. On my best days I get up 20 minutes before I have to leave and at worst I am up seconds before I leave the house. This morning though I woke at the alarm and started to get ready so that I could grab Finn and hold him. Kate fed him while I got dressed and then she handed him off to me so she could shower and eat herself. Finn and I read the paper, we skipped the whole mass murder part, cover to cover. He seemed to think the new luxury boxes at the Field House were silly but he likes the chances of some young ball players in the draft today.

The point is I’m changing. I’m different because of Finn. As great as my friends are they don’t hold a candle to sitting on the porch with my boy in my arms and Kate sitting next to me, staring out at the neighborhood. I know that will change sometime but I’m excited to see that change as well. Finn has me ready for change, he has me anxious to see what today brings and tomorrow holds.


Jamie said...

Suddenly you realize what make a mother or a father cry when their child does something cute. You realize just how much your parents must love you and you feel a different bond with them. Suddenly more things make sense than they did before, right? It is the same with Grandchildren.

Meg Schroeder said...

James, so proud of you, daddy! Missing you guys, can't wait to see everybody sometime in August. Love to Kate and Finn!!