Thursday, March 09, 2006

Man Shower

You have all been to one I’m sure. The cutesy little party with silly games and pastel wrapped presents. The mom-to-be in the middle of the room opening up onesies and bibs with things like “Momma’s Boy” or “I heart Guts”. The baby shower is part of the American fabric and tradition to sometimes to be enjoyed but often endured as a rite of passage into motherhood. Well there doesn’t seem to be a father’s equivalent. I know that some couples do a joint shower but who are we kidding, that is for the mom all the way and just a clever way of getting more presents. My friend John and I, in an effort to have our own party, have come up with what we mistakenly called the “Man Shower”

The first question of course was “why in God’s name would you call it a man shower?” and that is a great question. The whole thing conjures images of hairy over-weight men in towels that are two small and nobody wants to see that, least of all John and myself. I can only plead temporary insanity with the title, as it was the first thing that came to my head when I was asking another father if he was going to make it to our event. John was both horrified and hysterical when he heard what I called it and try as we might to change the name it has stuck. The only thing to do now is embrace it and move on.

While we are not interested in the games and silly presents we are interested in having something that marks this time in our lives. Something akin to climbing on to our chairs and yelling out for all to hear, take notice, there is something special here, something different and we want to recognize it and celebrate it. So we gathered up all of the fathers that we know and love in the Indianapolis metro area and invited them to Deano’s with a simple proposition: If you give us good, practical advice and share with us the things that you wish you knew when you became a father we will give you beer. Mmmmm beer!

Women are so much better at offering up and accepting random advice and sharing wisdom on just about anything. As men we need to be a little more intentional and tonight at Deano’s is John and I being intentional. Bring us you words of wisdom, your funny anecdotes, and your tried and true processes that you have learned and we will give you tall frothy mugs of oat soda. The tough part for me is that a number of the guys that I would like to hear from (Bing, Esse, Mark B, Keith, Allen, Rob, BenO, Jeff, Kyle….) are not in the Indianapolis Metro area. So I can’t offer you beer in exchange for your pearls but I would still like to hear from you. If you are reading this and your name appears above please help me out. If you’re a father and your name is not above it is a horrible oversight that can be chalked up to not enough coffee and the early hour and I would like to hear from you as well.

So tonight we will have our Man Shower and I will be prepared with note pad, cash from the corner ATM, and ears to hear what will be said. I am excited about tonight. It seems special to me, it seems some how other.


Roberto Zorro said...

Rob here... one thing you should know about ANY gathering of predominantly males, is - great excuse to drink beer, talk about sports, and female body parts (and one can only hope a poker game breaks out).

Ok, all kidding aside... I am a proud father of a daughter who is 2 1/2, and recently found out that we are pregnant with baby #2.

You will notice that most people who have one kid, end up having a 2nd... why is that? Why does the woman want another bowling ball to eject from her vagina? Why do parental units want to go through sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, spitting up, and a general sense of neurosis that ensues after you get home from the hospital and say "ok, now what do we do?"

There in lies the answer. Nobody can truly prepare you for what you are going to go through. Nothing I, or any other parent tells you can truly clue you in to what is going to take place.

The first year was very difficult, mostly adjusting to the complete change in lifestyles. I often asked my wife, "You sure we want to do this again?"....

But I can tell you this... it is the most amazing thing... and everyday when I see my daughter, there will be something new, something unexpected, something that will floor me... and as wonderful as it is from day 1, it gets better every single day.

Also, you get a great excuse to play with toys again, especially ones your parents never bought for you...HA! REVENGE IS MINE! I finally got that giant bubble wand and playdoh hair salon!

Oh yeah, and if nobody tells you, when you take your baby home, black sticky weird crap is going to come out of your baby's butt... it's normal... it will go away in a day or so :)


jamie said...

From a mother stand point I want to give you this bit of advice. The first few weeks are the post partem depression time and remember wether you did it or not it is indeed your fault so just appologize and make it right.

Bing said...

Things seem very serious and important for awhile after you bring the little alein home but as long as he is fed, changed, warm and hears your voices let the bugger be. Oh ya, let the boy be naked anytime he can.

Kyle said...

Those first few weeks/months will be a blur. You just do anything and everything that's necessary. You sleep a little, you laugh a lot, you cry some too. It will be the best time of your life, you may not realize it when you're in the middle of it, but you will definitely look back at it and thank God for his goodness.

Take care of your wife and your baby and you will be rewarded like never before. You guys are gonna have fun. Oh and when we had Owen the doctor told me to check his wang to make sure no hairs got wrapped around it cause it can cutoff circulation and cause serious problems. Needless to say I was extremely paranoid and vigilant on than penile hair strangling thing. I wouldn't worry as much as I did, but you may wanna take a looksie every now and then.

Love ya bro!

kris said...

james, i think you forgot someone who would like to have been invited, who also lives in the Indie are. kris