Just some Male

Kate had her appointment this morning and I tagged along for moral support. I saw how they did the Fetal Non-stress Test and watched as our sons heart beat increased and decreased as he moved. Then our Dr. came in and talked to Kate, not us, just Kate. I know that Kate is the focus of this whole thing but “I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.” There was even a time when talking about the drugs used to induce labor when the Dr. said the same thing is produced by the Male’s semen without even a glance in my direction. Seriously she couldn’t have at least given me a wink or something. It was like she was making sure not to offend Kate by inferring that I might be that “Male”, making sure that she kept the options open just incase I wasn’t really the father.

Even with the complete lack of acknowledging my presence it was a cool appointment. She talked about who would be in the room when the baby was born and when she said “I will put him right up on your chest when he comes out” I almost started sobbing like Kyle when American Idol ends each year. The emotion snuck up on me and bravely fought it back so as not to lose respect in front of the Dr. that hates me anyway. There are a lot of things lately that have that effect. I start to think about things like the car seat or music that I want to play for him and tears well up. It is sudden and powerful, and I know that the closer we get the harder it is going to be to fight it back.