There must be more then this

"Are you looking for a spiritual encounter or a spiritual family?" That is the question that was presented to us last Wednesday at our New Deal leadership meeting. Good question I think but I didn't have an answer that night. After ruminating on it for a week I think I might be closer to an answer. At first I thought that a spiritual family was what I wanted most out of church but more and more I am seeing that for me that is not true. I love the connection and the intimacy but I want an encounter more. The two go hand in hand for the most part and elements of both lead into each other like a tightly woven rug, but if I had to choose, if I was forced I want to see God, I want the encounter with something bigger, something other.

This is actually kind of a surprise for me because what drew me to the church we are at now was the community, the family aspect. Friendship blossomed out of shared pain and joy. Connections were forged through common struggles and successes and the makings of a family started solidifying right before our eyes. Kate and I went from strangers in a strange land to friends, family, locals. The thing is the people we are close to and care about do not go to the same church we do, some of them wouldn't go to church even if they held the local wrestling matches there. The spiritual family aspect comes from something bigger then the church that we attend, it is life shared together come what may.

So this morning while playing basketball I thought about the question with each pick and pop. Every dribble was a question and response, rapid fire, in my head, every shot was a test of theories. I lost all three games but I left happy and lose. Feeling like I was learning something, coming to some new realizations inside. I'm not sure what to do about the New Deal but I like the questions that are bouncing around.